Tag: christianity

A Little More Joy

Welcome! My Friends, to the Pointing Toward Hope Podcast/Blog!  I am Wendy Bertagnolli and I am your host for today’s podcast!  If this is your first time here, I’m so glad that you found us and hope you will stay a while. Go listen to past podcasts and feel the love that we share here.  I know that over the years we have done something that will touch your heart.  I talk a lot about finding hope and overcoming trials.  And we have had many guests that have shared their personal story of how the Savior has helped them to get through really difficult things in their lives.  There are so many that I could suggest that you go listen to but they all have a special place in my heart.  It’s kind of like trying to pick your favorite child.  There is just no way you can do that.  They are all so special.  And I am so grateful for all of the guests that we’ve had over the years.  

I wanted to just take a second and send out a request for more guests to come and be on the show.  You don’t have to live near me, we have the ability to do the show over the phone.  So if you have a phone, that’s all you need!  And part of our growth in trials, I have learned, comes by sharing what we’ve been through and how we’ve overcome.  And by doing that we help others to know that they are not alone. So please if you have ever thought about reaching out, please do, I would love to have you share your experiences.

I have been thinking a lot about what different topics we could share and I keep coming back to the same place!  And the Lord has whispered to me that it really doesn’t matter the topic.  Everyone!  Everyone has a story of something they have been through.  In fact I was listening to a song earlier today on my way home from the temple and I had to put it on repeat because it just really hit me hardl.  It is called “It wasn’t for nothing” by the band Jaren.  And it just reminded me of all that I have done with my trials over the years.  I have shed tears, I have wondered why me, I have searched and prayed for relief that sometimes took months or years to come.  And yet now that I can look back.  I see how many lives have been touched, even for just a small moment, by what I’ve been through and what I’ve overcome. There is a part in the song that says:

Someone will need to know, 

your story down the road, 

so you can look at them and say

it wasn’t for nothing,  the pain and the waiting, 

God heard when you called Him 

Just know that He’s using the hurt and the heartache 

for higher becoming, 

so you can look back and say, 

It wasn’t for nothing!

That just brings tears to my eyes because I know there have been so many times when I have tried to pray away the things that I’ve been through.  And yet I know that there is a higher purpose for it.  And I have become a new person because of the way that I have had to learn to live with my own diagnosis.   It hasn’t been easy and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  But I really have learned and grown and been able to help others through some really difficult times.  Just by sharing what I’ve been through.  And some of the things that I have learned because of it.  I praise God everyday for where I am now.  And I truly could not have gotten to this place without going through the hills and valleys over the past 10 years. Phew I did not expect that today!  It’s quite emotional when I look back at all that has transpired over the past 10 years.  

This is kind of a bit of reminiscing on my part today. I was sitting in the Celestial room of the temple today after my session and just feeling so full of the spirit.  I always like to say a little prayer and pop open the scriptures.  Bible or Book of Mormon, it doesn’t really matter I just grab one that is available.  Today it was the Book of Mormon and I popped it open to Alma Chapter 27, which just happens to be one of my favorite chapters.  I know, I know, I say that just about every episode.  And it’s true.  I have more than one favorite chapter.  But chapters 26-29 of Alma really are some of my most favorites and I have marked them up and notated so much that when I go back to read them it’s almost just as much fun to read over how these chapters have affected me over the years. My little notes in the sidebars and the dates that I read them on, really help me to see the growth that I’ve had.  And how God has answered my prayers.  

There is one notation that I made in Chapter 26 verse 3.  Apparently, it was in 2019 that I was first having the promptings that I should do a podcast/blog.  I read verse 3 and then in the sidebar I noted that this was an answer to my prayer.  That God was calling me to be an instrument in his hands to bring about His great work.  At the beginning of the verse Ammon is speaking and it says: Behold I answer for you.  And for me it was like the Lord was right there with me saying this is what I want for you.  Ammon goes on to say:

The Lamanites were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold, how many of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work!

It wasn’t for nothing!  Being in that dark abyss of depression.  Because now I could help others to find the marvelous light of God! 

Now, I know I haven’t been the most consistent with my podcasting.  Especially this last couple of years.  They’ve been pretty difficult.  However, I know that myself and the guests we’ve had on the show have changed and touched lives.  And hopefully brought people a little bit of joy in an otherwise dreary time.

On another day in 2021 I found verse 7 (chapter 26) and exclaimed it my new favorite!  Apparently, I was having some difficult days at the time and I made a note after reading:

7 But behold they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are His: and He will raise them up at the last day.

8 Blessed be the name of our God: let us sing to His praise, yea let us give thanks to his holy name for He doth work righteousness forever.

And the note that I made that day: My new favorite! My new protection Scripture. I am in the hands of the Lord of the harvest and I am his and He will raise me up at the last day!  

And if you are wondering what a protection scripture is, it’s one that you can turn to whenever you are feeling like you need that lift or the Lord’s help in your life.  A little protection against whatever it is that you are facing during that particular time.

What a blessing this book has been in my life.  I have just received so many answers to heartfelt pleas and I want that for everyone that is going through hard things.

Speaking of going through hard things.  Are you all feeling as rough as me right now with the world in such tumultuous times?  If there was ever a time when we need to feel peace and protection and joy, it is now.  Maybe that is why I was brought to these chapters today.  When I prayed today for help in preparing my podcast the talk from Elder Kearon of the 12 apostles from the last general conference, “Welcome to the church of Joy!”, immediately came into my mind.  So I grabbed my Liahona magazine and rapidly started highlighting and underlining every time he mentioned the word “joy”. I counted 22 times!  And I’m sure I probably missed a few.  I think he really wanted to drive home the point that we are in this life together and that church is a place where we should feel the joy and comradery of those with us and around us.  But that’s not how it’s always been for me or always is for that matter.  And I’m sure that you could say the same.  

In fact in verse 15 of Chapter 26 I mentioned in the side bar that this is the way that people with mental illness feel. It reads:

Yea they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction;  But don’t we all feel like that at some point in our lives?  Maybe some of you are like me and are feeling that everlasting darkness in our world today.  To that I say let’s finish reading that scripture, it goes on to say:

But behold he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea into everlasting salvation: and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love;

There was a time in my life that I definitely did not feel like I belonged to the church of Joy!

In fact I literally dreaded going to church. It was during a difficult time in my previous marriage.  I felt really alone and when I went to meetings I would sit alone and no one would sit by me.  I always felt like leaving and sometimes I did.  This went on for many years.  Until finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I left the church of Joy.  Who wants to go to a church where there is no joy to be felt?  Have you ever felt that way?  Are you feeling that way now?  

Elder Kearon says in his talk “ Is the spirit of collective rejoicing what you find? Is this what you bring?  Maybe you think this doesn’t have much to do with you, or perhaps you are simply used to how things have always been done.

Well that sentence really hit me:  Is this what you bring?  Looking back I know it’s not what I brought.  I brought my anger and my whoa-is-me attitude.  I purposely sat by myself in the back row just daring anyone to sit by me.  I’m sure I had a scowl on my face and didn’t look particularly inviting to sit by.  Has that ever been you?  If so, maybe it’s time to try to see church in a different light. To ask yourself, what can I bring to church, not what can the church bring to me? 

Elder Kearon put it this way:  We do not gather on the Sabbath simply to attend sacrament meeting and check it off the list.  We come together to worship.  There is a significant difference between the two.  To attend means to be present at.  But to worship is to intentionally praise and adore our God in a way that transforms us.

Over the years, as I was away from the church in my own dark night of the soul, I found myself missing the friendship and comradery that happens inside those walls.  I began to long for that to be a part of my life again.  I wasn’t quite ready to enter those doors again.  But the stirrings of  joy in rejoicing and praise of our Savior had begun to spring up.  It would almost always surprise me, since I wasn’t attending church.  And didn’t know at the time, if I ever would again. 

I would see a woman from my local church at the pool in our neighborhood and I knew that she knew that I was a member who didn’t attend.  I secretly wished that she would come up and talk to me. But I would avoid making eye contact.  How silly is that?  Have you ever done something like that?

When I eventually did find my way back to church, it was such a different experience.  The people in my church were always happy and excited to see us (my husband came with me even though he was not yet a member).  They would invite us to sit with them and were always smiling and happy.  It truly was contagious and made us want to be there.  There was one particular couple that always made space for us on their bench and we felt so safe and loved with them.  They were an older couple without children and we always just felt so safe with them.

In fact they have since moved away and whenever they come back to visit, they make it a point to always stop by and visit us.  We feel so loved by them and it truly is a joyful time when we see each other.

Another time that I remember feeling so much joy was when I seen a woman that I went to church with several years before at a grocery store.  It had been many years and I seen her from far away.  Have you ever had that feeling of “I know that person, but I just can’t place her?”  That’s how it was until she came running up to me and gave me a huge hug.  I remember having actual tears of joy come to my eyes, I was so happy to see her again.  That’s how being at church and in the presence of others whom we know and love should feel for us.  And that’s how we should make others feel when we see them as well.  I want to be more of that type of person.  

Oftentimes we are running late when we arrive at our destinations.  Or when we are at church we might be running off right after our meetings to get to other classes.  We don’t slow down and notice those around us who may need the simple lift of a smile and a hello!  Connection with others is so important in our spiritual and emotional development.

Imagine our world if we greeted eachother with joy and excitement every time we met! It would be beautiful if we could be free from contention and malice in our society.  Even with differing opinions, backgrounds, political leanings, and whatnot, we can all be a little more kind.  A little more understanding and a little more respectful.  

I like what Elder Kearon says about the original plan of our loving Father in Heaven.

He writes: Because of the loving plan of our Heavenly Father for each of His children, and because of the redeeming life and mission of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, we can—and should—be the most joyful people on earth! Even as the storms of life in an often-troubled world pound upon us, we can cultivate a growing and abiding sense of joy and inner peace because of our hope in Christ and our understanding of our own place in the beautiful plan of happiness.

And I must state that this is not something that just happens just inside our church walls.  It is happening every minute of everyday as we work to better ourselves from the inside out.  And much of that inside joy and beauty comes from the way that we treat and respect others. There are so many ways that we can connect with others or stay connected.

With technology so readily available to us to just pick up the phone or send a quick text. The Lord is making it easier and easier for us to make and keep connections.

For many of my good friends, we like to go on “walk and talks”.  We spend an hour outdoors in the sunshine enjoying being in one another’s presence.  It looks like just what it sounds like.  We walk and chat and in so doing we lift and buoy eachother up amidst the struggles and busy-ness of the day.

I have had several friends whom I’ve walked with for years and some have moved away.  We try our best to stay in touch and continue to bring joy into eachothers lives. One such friend, that I deeply admire, moved more recently.  And it was hard.  We’d become so close!  So we decided that a good way to stay in touch was to continue our walk and talks from afar.  We had our first one a few weeks ago and it worked out so well.  We both went out in our respective neighborhoods, put in our earbuds and chatted on the phone while we walked. It was divine.  When I heard her voice a huge smile spread across my face and I could feel her smiling through the phone.  I know that for both of us, it was a much needed reprieve from the day to day worries and craziness of life.

What I really want to say is that I know our lives were ment to be spent on so much more than scrolling our phones and being consumed with life.  Our Savior wants us to have joy.  He wants us to bring joy to others.  And we are all a part of His grand plan of Happiness.

Just to sum things up. I want to share another scripture.  In this passage Ammon is speaking of the conversion of many of their Lamanites brothers and sisters.This is also in Chapter 27 of Alma vese 27 and it reads: 

And they were among the people of Nephi, and also numbered among the people who were of the church of God. And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things, and they were firm in the faith of Christ, enven unto the end.

I want that for myself!  I want that for each of you.  And again in verse 30 it states:

And thus they were a zealous and beloved people, a highly favored people of the Lord! 

What a joyous way to live! I had to look up the word zeal because you know I’m a words person.  And in the side bar I noted that it means: devoted, diligent, dedicated, fervent, passionate and eager! Doesn’t having a friend like that just sound awesome?

What if we all tried to live our lives in this way?  I imagine that!   Our homes, workplaces, churches, even grocery stores would be places of the utmost joy.

Is it realistic to be filled with joy always? Of course not, but we can definitely make more of an effort to fill our cups and the cups of others with a little more hope, a little more kindness, a little more respect and a lot more joy!

That’s it for today, friends! As I mentioned earlier, if you have ever thought about sharing your story with others so that you can join me in proclaiming that you are never, ever, alone in your trials and challenges.  Please reach out and we will set up a time to get you on the show.  Remember to like and share. Have a great week everyone!

All in the Lord’s Timing

Hello and welcome to the Pointing Toward Hope Podcast/blog!  If this is your first time here, I hope you will find something that helps you to gain hope and healing in whatever you may be experiencing at this time in your life.  I encourage you to let the spirit be your guide. I know because of my own experiences, that the Lord will embrace and love you as you come to Him with your deepest and most heartfelt concerns.

In this episode I hope to put anxious minds to rest concerning trials and hardships that you may be facing. And help you to realize that God’s timing is not our timing.  But his timing is perfect!  Though it’s difficult to be in a waiting period, I know that if we put our trust in Him we can find peace. 

I wanted to start out with the scripture from Isaiah 55:8-9 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

It will be 10 years this September since I was originally diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.  And boy has it ever been a journey of ups and downs, and ins and outs!  Looking back, I honestly can’t believe how far I have come and how much I have learned.  Not just about mental health and well being.  But, more importantly about the atonement and the plan of salvation.  My testimony of our Savior and His gospel has grown so much.  I kind of feel like it’s been similar to Jack’s beanstalk at times.  Growing so quickly that I couldn’t keep up.  

And then at other times, I felt distant from my Savior and His love. Sometimes for many days or even months at a time.  And I know I’m not alone in those feelings.  Because I’ve heard from many of you about the hardships and hearbreaks that come sometimes when we are striving and striving to live the gospel and things are just HARD. 

I wanted to share one such story that started a chain of events that took years to come to fruition.  

As you know I started my blog way back in 2017.  Can you believe it?  I sure can’t.  One thing is for sure, time just keeps rolling along no matter what is happening in our lives. I have been consistent at times and very inconsistent at others, as you know if you  have followed me for any length of time.  

I can honestly tell you that the times when I am most consistent, are the times when I feel the strongest spiritually.  And when I feel strong spiritually, I tend to feel strong physically as well.  Funny how those two things seem to go hand in hand. 

So recently, my husband and I have been doing a joint project that has been a long time in the making.  And it all started way back when I was finding my way back to the church and he was finding his way to the Savior and his gospel. 

So my husband grew up playing the guitar and had several bands that he was a part of.  He even opened for Paula Abdul one year!  His claim to fame before his band broke up.  He struggled for lots of years to build his dream of song writing and making music for others to enjoy.  And then he had kids.  And as you may know, having a family just changes things.

Of course that was an amazing time for him, I tell him all the time what a good dad he is, and that’s the truth.  There are not many like him.   So obviously, his music took a back seat for a lot of years.

I remember driving in the car with him one day and having the distinct impression that his songwriting days were not over.  And that God had plans for him to share his music and his new found love of the Savior with many.  Well, that impression happened probably around 9 years ago.  But it has never left me.  

So when he came to me last year after one of my trips to Utah and told me that he’d written a chorus to a song while I was gone, I was delighted.  and when he played it, I cried.  It is so beautiful and perfect!  He told me that he had been wanting to write again and that he wanted me to help. 

Well other than playing the piano, I know nothing about writing music.  But I was more than happy to encourage him in any way that he needed.  But he insisted that he needed my help.  He said, and I kid you not, “You’ve got to have some good stuff in all the journaling you do!” 

Haha, He’s not wrong…. I do have good stuff in my journals and lots of spiritual experiences.  But I don’t write poems or lyrics so I didn’t quite know what he wanted.  But I started to go through some journals looking for something that might be of help to him.

And the song that he was working on just kind of sat for a while with just a chorus that was amazing.

SOOOO, back to my story about the chain of events that led to our first song together.  Which incidentally, is NOT the song that just had a chorus!  God had other plans.  As He always does.

Years ago when I first started to write my blog. I was into probably 6 months or a year.  I had a woman contact me by phone out of the blue one day.  I remember it distinctly, because she had a pleading in her voice that I recognized as my own during some difficult times. 

She said she’d been reading my blog and felt impressed to get in touch with me.  She was struggling with some pretty difficult mental health challenges and so she related with some of what I had written.  

Well one thing led to another and we actually became wonderful friends!  We would walk and talk.  And learned so much about each other.  One day she shared with me a scripture that I’d like to share with you.  It comes from Alma chapter 42:30.  This is a chapter that specifically talks about repentance and the atonement.  And it reads: 

O my son, I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more.  Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let  the justice of God, and his mercy and his long suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility.”

My friend explained that she felt like she was not giving the Lord “full sway” in her life and that she needed to be better at doing that.  We talked it over and I remember thinking what a cool perspective that was.  And then we went on with our lives and I didn’t think about that scripture again.

That is, until I came across it a few years later in my personal studies.  I remembered our talk about it and made note of it in my scriptures and in my study journal.  I remember that I wrote “FULL SWAY” in big letters and squared it and highlighted it.  Because this time I wanted to do that same thing.  I wanted to give the Lord Full sway and let his mercy and long suffering have more of an impact in my life. Well that was back in 2021!

Now back to talking about the Lord being right on time.

Last year, so 2024, was when Joe and I first began talking about writing together and he mentioned my journals. So I was going through them and finding literally nothing (bascially because I didn’t know what I was looking for). I left them out on the counter one day open to the specific page that had “FULL SWAY” written on it.  Well he saw it, unbeknown to be.  And thought that’s it!  That would be a great song.  

He mentioned it to me and asked about the story surrounding it.  So we talked about it and he told me that he thought it would be a great song.  I said, yes but we need to get the other one done first, lol!  Again that Lord had other plans.  

So at this point it had been nearly 8 years since I originally heard the scripture about full sway.  And one day we were working on the lyrics for  the other song that had just a chorus.  We wrote a verse. Joe would play and then I would write something, and then he would improve upon it and that’s kind of how it went.  

We were making good progress, and then right then and there Joe started strumming out a melody.  Apparently, he had been thinking about full sway over and over again.  It just wouldn’t leave his mind.  So he is strumming this melody and I said, “Let me record that, it’s so beautiful.”  And he said, “we have to write this song now!”  This song really wants to be written.  Well  looking back I think the correct phrasing is that “God really wanted that song to be written”.  It was the right time!  In fact it was such the right time that we had to turn the page on the other song and begin writing right then and there. So we wrote and wrote and It was amazing how quickly it seemed to come together. We got most of it  done, but something was just missing and we couldn’t figure out what.  We had a “bridge”, but it just didn’t feel right.

One night about a week or so later, I was asked by the siste missionaries for our church, to visit a family that was learning about the gospel.  They asked both of us to go, but for some reason Joe was unable to go that night. So I went and when we got there it was just crazy town.  Kids running everywhere and dad was not home yet to help.  I think I told this story in a recent podcast about how when truth is being shared, Satan works the hardest to intervene.  Anyway, it was an excellent experience and the spirit was so strong.  We met up with dad on the way out and ended up talking for another half an hour.  

About that time, I received a text from Joe.  “I got the bridge done!”  Turns out he just needed some alone time with the Lord.  The bridge of this song is my most favoirtie part.  I am going to play the song at the end of this podcast and you will see why.  A bridge is a section of a song that transitions between two parts, often with a new perspective or sound. Bridges can add variety, tension, or a new dimension to a song’s narrative.  And this one does just that!  It creates a whole new dimension to the song.  He played it for me when I got home, and I cried again.

Even though we had now finished the song.  The hard part had just begun.  Joe had this huge vision of what he wanted the song to be like.  Strings, choir, guitars, drums.  So now he had to go about producing all of this with different software programs and finding singers.  And that took probably another 4 months or so.

When we finally got it finished and uploaded to all of the platforms, Full Sway ended up coming out on Christmas Day 2024!  I couldn’t think of a more fitting and perfect time for this particular song to be released.  On the day that we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, His atoning sacrifice for us and all that it means to us. It was God’s perfect timing.  

Since then we have had thousands of streams and many have added our song to playlists and favorites.  We still have high hopes that others will want to “cover” the song and make it even more impactful!  

We have since finished another song called Holy King of Kings.  Both can be found wherever you listen to music.  And we do have a youtube channel called Angels roud about us.  But we haven’t really promoted that yet because we only have one song up there so far.  

So funny little side note, we still have not finished the first song,lol.  I guess it’s just not the right time yet.  We’ve got all of the lyrics, though something just feels missing.  I’m sure the Lord will let us know what that is when He’s ready.  

This scripture, Alma 42:30 has had a large impact in my friend’s life, in our lives, and now I’m sure in the lives of many others.  But it was years in the making!  And sometimes that is how the Lord works.  His ways are not our ways.  But his timing is always right on time.

Thanks for listening/reading!  Please like and share the podcast, and our songs, specifically on Spotify if you can.  It really helps the algorithm reach more people.  We know this is a song that needs to be heard.  We hope you like it!