What does it mean to “Be Still”?

Be StillI have found a pattern for me in writing, posting on FB or instagram, or other forms of social media.  I get really motivated and I go full steam for a while and then I fizzle out.  I really don’t mean to ghost you.  It’s just that a lot of times, life just has a way of getting in the way of some of these things.  We have moved twice in the last 6 weeks, once from our home into a hotel (all of our belongings in a storage unit) , and then again from the storage unit into our new home.  And the moves were 2 Saturdays in a row!  It was crazy.

Then, the very next Saturday we got on a plane and flew to Utah for my son’s wedding for a week (my last child to marry).  The wedding was absolutely beautiful and I got to see so many of my old friends and family!  Being in the Salt Lake City temple with all four of my children and their spouses was an experience I won’t soon forget.  The tears were flowing before the ceremony even started!  For those of you who may not know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  One of the things that we believe is that families can be together forever through temple ordinances that are performed there.  We also believe that this blessing extends to those who have passed before us.  And so we do what we call “proxy” work for the dead so that they can have the promised blessings if they so choose.  For more information about temples and what we believe you can click here.

Now we are back in Tennessee and settling into our home (but still trying to unload the storage unit, haha).  And then in about another week, we will be moving my husbands office space to a new building. Phew!  It has been a crazy summer!

Amidst all of this craziness it has become apparent to me how important it is for us to learn how to “be still”.  What do I mean when I say that?  Well, it’s more than just sitting quietly cause we all know that rarely happens (although it’s great if you can), or praying, or reading scriptures.  While all of those are good means of being still, do you think that there is more to it than that? One of the reasons that I attend the temple as much as I can, is that it is so peaceful inside.  As soon as you walk in those doors, the whole world just melts away.  It is quiet, everyone is equal, there to serve and to love.  There are no sounds from traffic or other outdoor noises.  Just a peace and a reverence that can’t be found elsewhere.  However, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been REALLY HARD this past few months to maintain my regular attendance with everything that is happening.  (Which I am positive Satan is getting ready to put a little tic on his side of the board, lol.) However, as I contemplated what I would write about, I kept just coming back to “be still”.

So again, what does it mean to “be still”?  In the Bible in Psalm 46:10 we read Be still, and know that I am God..

and in Mark 4:39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, aPeace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great bcalm.

When I ponder on those scriptures, I feel that being still is more than just the action of quieting our mind.  It also requires an action of believing that God will enlighten our minds as we do so. Faith to know that He wants us to be still so that we can be given revelation for the direction He wants us to take.  To grow and progress in ways that we can not do on our own.

Twice in the Doctrine and Covenants it mentions the words “stand still”.  first in section 5:34 Yea, for this cause I have said: Stop, and astand still until I command thee, and I will bprovide means whereby thou mayest accomplish the thing which I have commanded thee.

and then again in Section 123:17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us acheerfully bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

In the dictionary, one of the definitions of “stand” is to face or encounter.  And the definition of “be” is to take place, to happen or occur.  And then the word “still” in the dictionary, silence, or at this time. If we put those words together, I think that maybe God is telling us if we can BE (something is about to happen), STILL (silent), STAND (Face me, pray, ask!), He has something important to give us, tell us, or show us.  An encounter or something special to take place.   I am in awe of the greatness that those scriptures offer to us.  “Stand still, with the utmost assurance”.  “Be still and KNOW that I am God.”  There is so much that He wants to tell us that He wants to share with us that He wants to show us!  But it’s not just the act of silence or being quiet, it requires us to be willing to face or encounter what it is He is trying to share with us. And then… the most important part….believe Him!  And if your answer involves action on your part (most often it does) then you get up go and DO! Even if that answer is a calm peaceful feeling.  Go and let that resonate with you, don’t just brush it off.

I had an experience a few months back when I was stressing out about everything that was happening in my life and I was having a particularly bad day with my illness.  I was angry, frustrated, felt like it was unfair that I had to deal with this every day.  See that’s the thing with mental illness, chronic illnesses, mental health issues, diabetes and so many other illnesses.  You never just wake up and it’s all gone.  It is with you every ding dong day!  I was SO ANGRY and I knelt down and I was kind of shaking my fists at the Lord saying why? WHY do I have to deal with this every day of my life? Why did you do this to me?  And within seconds of my tantrum, I had one of the most incredible experiences.  It’s like the curtain opened for a minute and I got to see all the miracles that have taken place since my diagnosis.  All the answers to prayers, all the changes in direction (that have been so positive for us) all the experiences that have happened since then.  It was like He was saying:  “Oh my daughter, look at all the good that has come through this illness, look at all the ways that you are better, look at all the ways that you have helped others.  STAND and LOOK (FACE).  I have not forsaken you.  BE STILL!”

And then of course the reprimand, “now get up, wipe those tears and do what you need to do!

I picture a child throwing a temper tantrum and the parent becoming frustrated and just getting down to the child’s level, grabbing that child by the face saying, Look at me! Listen to me! I’m going to tell you one more time! Now, go and do what I have asked you to do (of course in the most gentle of ways ;)).

What a beautiful opportunity we have at any time of day or night, in any situation, with all that the world throws at us.  We can “be still” or “stand still” (face Him, talk to Him, be open and ready to what His plan is)  and we will receive the strength to move forward, to be stronger, to be as He would have us be.  I say it all the time, His plan for our life is a MUCH BETTER PLAN than the one that we think is going to be great!  But we have to be willing to be ready for the encounter, be silent so we can hear it and face Him.  He has all the answers.  Trust Him!  Be still, and Know…

XO Wendy

 

 

 

 

 

Things aren’t always as they seem.

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Have you ever looked at someone that you admire and thought, geez, I wish I could be more like her/him.  They have it all, a great job, great family, great spouse,  their kids are perfect, they always seem happy.  And look at that home…. it’s ALWAYS clean.  And so and so on.

You think to yourself, I can’t even keep the laundry folded (or maybe even washed) and dinner on the table. Wait, I can’t even fix dinner because I haven’t had any time to go the store in the last couple of weeks.  And pretty soon you’ve talked yourself into such a personal pity party that you’re fighting with your imperfect kids.  And you’re short with your husband and friends.  You may be fuming about work projects or situations where you just felt that things were dumped on you, or just not fair.

Does any of that sound familiar to you?  Me too!  We’re so good at finding all of our flaws and imperfections and comparing them to the strengths of others whom you admire.  But the truth is, things aren’t always as they seem!  In fact rarely are they as they look on the outside.  EVERYBODY (at least in my past 51 years of experience) is going through something hard.  And to a certain degree, we all try to put on the face that nothing is wrong everything is just rosy!  It’s time for us to get real, and quit the fake.  That is quite the buzz word at the moment isn’t it?  Just quit the fake, right? But it’s not really that easy to do.

Let me ask you a couple of questions that I really want you to ponder.  Really ponder.

1.What is it about my life that is sooo horrible that I can’t help but look at others and want what they have?  And

2. What good is there in my life right now that others might see as optimal (the blessings you have in your life)?

Sometimes we are so focused on what we don’t have that we forget to be grateful and celebrate the things that we do have!

I personally think that is why it is so important to keep some sort of daily gratitude journal!  It reminds you to be aware and mindful of all the little things that are good in your life.  It helps you to focus on the positives.

One of the the things in my own life that I could really make into a horrible thing, I can make it a negative or a positive, is the fact that I have Bipolar disorder.  It would be very easy for me to look at all the negative that comes along with this diagnosis.  And it does get the best of me at times.  But one of the ways that I try to make it into a positive is to try and help others who may be struggling with similar issues.  I am always amazed that just by sharing what I go through, it always touches someone in some way.  Sometimes it is in a big way and other times it is as small as them recognizing that they are not alone.  They don’t always reach out and let me know, but when they do, it always makes me feel like what I am struggling with is a blessing that I can use to help others in their own lives.

And lastly, looking at and focusing on the good in your life is a practice that is so easy to pick up and really doesn’t take much.  Try recording just 3 things daily that are good in your life that day, that moment.  It doesn’t have to be anything big.  Sometimes for me it is just the fact that I am here on this Earth living another day!

So with that said, go out and look for the good today!  Remember that things aren’t always as they seem when viewing what others are putting out there.  And know that you are never alone!  I see you!

 

We All Matter|We Are Here to Love

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of the love and support that I have had over the years.  I am so, so grateful for it.  Let’s face it, this life can be difficult sometimes and it’s nice to have someone to talk to and lean on.  I believe that we are all here to help each other on this journey through life.  Whether it be by kind and simple acts of service or being a shoulder to cry on, or someone to hang out with.  Sometimes it is even through the roughest moments of our lives that someone comes along and is able to give us the push we need to move forward or says the exact right thing we need to hear.  I call that divine intervention and I don’t believe it is a coincidence at all.

Some people may not believe that there is a divine being that cares about us more than we can ever imagine, and that’s ok.  We are all different and have different paths and journeys that we take in this life. As I always say, I can only speak from own experience.  But there are so many other people’s experiences in this life that we can learn and grow from.  And if we shut people out because they don’t believe exactly as we do, we are literally passing judgement on them.  Does not Jesus Christ (whom I believe is that supreme being for me and all of us), say in Matthew 7:1-2?

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

I have spoken of this subject before. But I firmly and so totally believe that we are going to speak at some point for how we judge our fellow men.  I believe that is a question that we will be asked, “How did you treat others? How did you think of others?  Were you your brother’s keeper?”  No matter the situation that we came to this world in, all people including ourselves, are deserving of unconditional true love and charity in it’s deepest form.

In this world, unfortunately, we are so completely bombarded with judgement and selfishness and harshness from those we love the most and those who don’t know us at all.   There is so much negativity in this world as we know it.

Fortunately for us there is an opposite side to that negativity.  However there must always be a push and pull, or good and bad.  In the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, we read in 2 Nephi 2:11

11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.

With that being said, we must embrace positivity with all that we are.  And upon on doing that we must grow in acceptance and love, pure and unconditional, that reaches out and fills the cups of others.  Can we not accept the fact that we are and always will each be individuals in this the human race?  We are all human beings!  That doesn’t make us any better or worse than the person sitting next us.  We are each deserving and worthy of love and light! Our responsibility is to see the divinity in others, no matter what situations they may be in.  We need to be better , we need to do better in that treatment of each and every one we come into contact with.

I’m certainly not saying that I’m am perfect at this in any way!  In fact quite the opposite.  I am such a work in progress.  That is why I write what I do.  It is usually because of some experience that I have had that inspires me to speak about something like this.

Jesus taught us so much in parables about the way we are to love and treat each other.  Did he not teach the parable of the good Samaritan?  And the prodigal son?  Those who labored in the vineyard, some that came in the morning and some that came in the evening to work, yet all were payed the same? Do these parables not teach us that we are equal in His eyes?  That we need to treat each other with respect and divinity, no matter how differently we may think or act or look? Are we not all deserving of this great love that Jesus so spoke of?  The answer is a resounding YES!  We are all deserving, all worthy and we are all worth it!

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the twelve apostles said, God sees you not only as mortal being on small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and  designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”

Yes we are worthy of and worth His love.  Which in turn means that we are worthy and worth the love of others, no matter the circumstances or the choices that have been made on our individual journeys.  Remember we have our journey and other people have their journey.  We all respond and learn differently.  But we are asked to love others without condition. speaking of the two great commandants in  Mark 12:31 we read:

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt lovethy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

I will completely and wholeheartedly take responsibility for my own shortcomings in this  area.  I have so much to learn and so many people to accept and love. And I’m am so grateful to the supreme being who loves me and knows my shortcomings and doesn’t expect me to be completely perfect.  He knows that I am going to fall short and yet loves me anyway.  He loves each of us anyway!  No matter how broken or  wronged or battered you feel, you do have one who loves you so greatly and so completely that He died that you might live!  You are important, you are loved, you are enough! You are the you that you were meant to be!  Embrace that.  Embrace others for the diversity that surrounds us.

We are SO blessed to live and love and have this great adventure that we call life!  My challenge is for myself and for you to go out today and love on someone who needs your love.  Love so hard that you forget that they are different and think different than you do.  Love them unconditionally and perfectly.  As that is how our maker loves us.  “As I have loved you, LOVE one another!”

34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. John 13:34-35

 

 

 

What does a manic episode look like? Part 1. | Bipolar disorder

I have been putting off writing this post.  It’s not easy to write about something that is so personal and risk being judged or labeled because of the stigma surrounding mental illness that still exists.  However, I feel so compelled to share and educate people on what those with mental illness really struggle with, Bipolar in particular.  Then maybe we can remove that stigma together.  So today I am going to share these deeply personal experiences in the hopes that it can help someone who thinks they might have Bipolar or maybe friends and family who may be seeking answers.

It’s important to understand that this illness manifests itself in many different ways for different people.  I can only speak from my own experience and it’s super important that if you or someone you know, think you might be experiencing some of the symptoms that I am going to share, that you seek the advice and counsel of a trained Psychiatrist or Psychologist to be properly diagnosed.

What I am going to share is the way that a manic episode manifests in me.  The easiest way that I know how to describe what happens for me is to give you bullet points.  So Here are 5 ways that a manic episode starts to show for me.

*One thing that is important to mention about Bipolar and mania is that sometimes the one experiencing it can’t see it when it’s happening, but someone close to you can.  So having support from loved ones during times like these is especially important.  Although, it can also be frustrating and draining for those witnessing it and trying to help.  Don’t give up on us.

So here we go:

  1. Creativity spike or over excitement.  One of the first signs for me that a manic episode is coming on is that I start to feel kind of a pressure build up of creative ideas.  I will start feeling really bold and strong like I can accomplish anything.  Which really isn’t that strange because a lot of people are list makers and goal setters and go getters.  But what this looks like for me is list making and goal setting on steroids, lol.  It’s like I just keep adding more and more to the list and I just feel super powered. And I start attacking each item on my list and I just can’t let it go until it gets accomplished.  I get really exuberant about everything so I talk louder and faster and more excited than usual.  Normally I’m a pretty quiet and reserved person.  So this is pretty out of character for me.
  1. Can function on very little sleep.  I feel like the energizer bunny.  I am so on fire that I can’t shut my mind down at night and I start to lose sleep.  This isn’t just a few hours, this is like pulling all-nighters for several days in a row.  It’s very frustrating because I know I NEED to sleep, but I just can’t shut my brain off.

In one of my recent episodes, when I was through it, I had a huge bruise on my chest from where I kept poking my self.  In my manic mind, I felt like there was a button that I could push that I could just turn it all off.  So I just kept poking my self trying to shut all the thoughts off.  I know it sounds crazy but remember this is a disease or disorder.  So if we think of it like a disease, it would be similar to a diabetic having insulin shock.  It’s very serious and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

3. Rapid weight loss.  This is caused by a lack of eating normally because I think I have to get so much done I don’t stop to eat.  I actually forget and I am not even hungry.  Normally, I am very aware of when and what I eat and how much water I’m drinking.  I’ve learned to be very careful about this over the years.  I’ve been reading a lot lately about how the brain and the gut are connected. There is so much that happens in the gut that can change the way the brain functions.  So it makes sense that cutting off the nutritional supply that your brain is used to would cause significant changes in your body.

4.  Everything resonates. So this symptom is where it really goes off the rails.  I start to see signs in everything.  I believe the technical term for it is grandiose or delusional thinking.  So for example I might see a billboard and say something like “Oh, I get it now, that’s what this all means.”  Or “Oh my goodness this is so big, it all makes sense now.”  I start to say things that make complete sense to me in my head, but when they come out of my mouth it’s making no sense at all.  At one point I start to think that people can or should be able to read my mind.  So I’ll just look at them like I’m telling them something and expect them to understand. This is when it’s getting really scary and on the verge of the episode.  Usually once it’s to this point, a manic episode can not be avoided.  So the idea is to recognize the early signs above, or someone close to you recognizes what’s happening and points it out so you can bring yourself back down.  Usually you can’t do that on your own, you need the help of someone else making sure that you are getting enough sleep and that you are eating and staying hydrated, etc.

5.  Senses overload.  So for me personally, this is when I’m in full blown manic mode.  It’s like all 5 of my senses are extra sensitive.  I hear everything louder.  Everything around me seems amplified.  From the voices of people around me to the natural noises of traffic and hustle and bustle.  And then I feel like everything is interconnected like I mention in number 4.  I feel like I can see things more clearly.  I feel things more fully.  And my talking becomes very chatty.  I have to talk about everything I’m seeing, hearing and feeling.  So it can be very annoying to someone around me.  I just can’t shut up, lol.  I joke about it, but it’s a very scary place to be.  In fact the other thing that happens at this point is that I get the worst headache.  My head is pounding so hard that I think I’m gonna die.  It’s just like massive overload of all the senses.

The way that I always try to explain to someone what it’s like, is to compare the body to a computer.  When you keep opening window after window and giving your computer more jobs to do, it finally just freezes up and won’t do anything.  The only way to fix it is to do a reboot.  It’s kind of the same way with me.  Once I get to that point, my body just shuts down and has to be rebooted.  I imagine it’s like a short circuit in the brain. My brain is just saying “enough is enough” I have to shut this baby down.

Usually at this point I am pretty much out of it.  I can’t function at all.  It really is like my body just goes into freeze mode and is waiting to be rebooted.  It’s super scary because I literally have no control over my body at this point.  As I have mentioned in a previous post, I have only gotten this far 3 times in my life where I have had to be hospitalized.  But looking back now I can see many times in my life where I was in the manic zone but then managed to work myself out of it, usually by sleeping it off.

So wow! Yes, that is what a manic episode is like for someone who is experiencing it.  There are many more symptoms that manifest for other people such as uncontrolled spending, excessive drinking, or drug abuse, extreme rage, etc.  But the 5 symptoms described above is how it works on me.  And like I said in the beginning, I can only speak from personal experience. This is why I mention so much that it feels like being “broken”.  It literally is like the brain is broken.

I know this can be extremely hard for a loved one to hear and witness.  But just know that it is even harder for the person who is going through it. I hope this has been insightful and helpful for those who have Bipolar or those with friends or family.  I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to get the proper help and diagnosis.

I want to leave this on positive note though, because there is help and a lot of good things that can come from this. I have been so blessed to have had great support in my life and have been able to get the help that I’ve needed.  If you have found this helpful or insightful, please like and share.  And if you want to know more, I am happy to share my experiences.  I believe we are all here to help each other on our journeys through life.

XO Wendy

P.S.  Part 2 coming soon.  A different perspective.

Update:  In this post I talked about how my husband was going to be posting about Bipolar from his perspective or rather what a manic episode looks like to someone who may be experiencing it with their spouse, child, or loved one.  Turns out, it was much harder for him than he originally thought it would be.  It’s extremely hard for family and friends to understand what is happening with you and to see you that way  It isn’t exactly a walk in the park for.  So I let him off the hook.  I think from this post you can learn a lot about what it’s like.  The one conclusion that we did come to is that you really have to learn to trust each other.  The person having a manic episode, usually feels like they are just fine, while the loved one can see it more clearly.  So it’s important to trust your loved one and get help if you can, whether that is through your Dr. or working out a plan beforehand with your spouse of how you’ll handle it.

 

 

Come in the Door is Open!

This past Easter weekend I have been thinking a lot about our Savior and what it means to be His disciple.  While contemplating on that thought I was reminded of the picture of Christ knocking at the door with no handle where we talk of it being us that need to open the door for Him to come into our lives.  Which is definitely true.  We read in Revelation Chapter 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

However, recently I have begun to look at in another light.  Instead of picturing him at the door knocking for us to let Him in.  I picture Him on the other side of the door and when seeing us come to knock, swinging the door wide open with a giant smile on His face saying “Come in the door is open”!

The Lord does not discriminate.  He sees us as we are and as we can be!   So I don’t believe He would hesitate at all if He were to see us taking the steps to come unto him.  He would enfold us in a big hug as if to say “I’ve missed you, where have you been all this time?”

It warms my heart to think that we have a loving Savior who is as concerned and committed to us as a loving parent would be. He sees what we are going through.  He sees us laugh and cry, win and lose, find joy and have pain.  He is all knowing and despite our giant mistakes and problems He loves us all the more.

Seeing our Savior in this way has allowed me to be more open and willing to share the Gospel here on my blog as well as with those I come into contact with.  For were it not for me being born into belief in the gospel, I fear I might not be a believer.  And I feel for all of those who have never heard of Christ the Lord and have no idea that there is a power beyond their own that they can tap into and rely on each and every day.

So what can we do?  How can we help or find those who have never heard of, or who have strayed from the path towards Christ?  I believe there are several ways that we can do that.  But, might I suggest just one? That we just love them.

When I was a young mom I had a child that would test me to my limits.  I could tell you story after story of how he would get into trouble and press my buttons.  But just to give you a couple of examples, he once buttered, with a tub of butter and a spoon, his younger sister while sitting on the sofa waiting to go have pictures done while I finished getting dressed, lol.  Imagine my surprise and displeasure as I came out to find, not only my 18 month old daughter covered head to toe in butter, but the carpet, T.V. and everything in between.  How long was I away?  Couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes.

On another occasion, he thought it would be fun to dump Hershey chocolate syrup all over our brand new carpet!  By this time, I was on a first name basis with the carpet cleaners.  I knew not to even attempt to clean it, just call the cleaners, haha.  Oh he was a Dennis the Menace in every way.  I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I would find myself at my wits end as he got into fiasco after fiasco testing my every last nerve.  And he did it so quickly and slyly right under my nose.  I couldn’t leave him alone for a second!

I remember one night I was praying and pleading with the Lord to help me with this child.  Help me to know what to do and how to handle him.  I begged to know what I was doing wrong.  Why did he test me like this?  As the tears flowed and I poured my heart out.  These gentle words came into my mind still and quiet, “Just love him, just love him”.  For that is how the Savior handles us.  He just loves us!  No matter what.

As I was thinking about this, the words of Ulysses Soares a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, came to mind from our recent conference. “When we earnestly, heartily, firmly, and sincerely seek to learn the gospel of Jesus Christ and teach it to one another, these teachings may transform hearts. …It is hard to understand all the reasons why some people take another path. The best we can do in these circumstances is just to love and embrace them, pray for their well-being, and seek for the Lord’s help to know what to do and say. Sincerely rejoice with them in their successes; be their friends and look for the good in them. We should never give up on them but preserve our relationships. Never reject or misjudge them. Just love them!” 

Just love them!  I am so amazed by the love that our Savior has for me and for all of us.  The least we can do for Him is to treat others with respect.  Honor them for who they are.  Be examples of love and light like the Savior would have us do.  And above all, just love them!

I pray that I can help others to come unto Christ.  That I can be open and ready and willing when opportunities arise.  That I will be able to take the words of Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, into my heart as he said   “...Pray daily with all your heart that you will find those who will come and see, come and help, and come and stay. “

And when that opportunity comes hopefully I will be able to say “Come in the door is open!”,  with a great big giant smile!

p.s. I know I promised my next post to be another about mental illness … but when thoughts come I have to get them out :).  And that one is proving to take a little longer and be harder than I thought it would be.  It will come soon…XO Wendy

 

5 Bonus Habits to Adopt for Mental Wellness | Mental Illness Awareness

As I was writing the 5 Habits for good mental health, I started to remember other habits that I have adopted over the years.  So rather than make one very LONG post, I decided to make these the bonus five!

I call them a bonus because really that’s what you get if you adopt them… a big supply of bonus mental energy, if you will.  Over the years I have adopted each as they have become needed for my recovery and good health and also when I found that I gained so much from them.  I have just continued to try and do them.  Mind you, I am FAR from perfect at any of the habits including the first five that I shared.  But boy, do things look and feel brighter when I’m managing my health in this way.  Also, remember that all of the things that I am suggesting are not easy when you are really struggling, so just take baby steps.  They are not meant to replace medication, that’s something you and your Dr. should discuss.  Just take it one day at time.  So here we go!

  1. Start Journaling– (this one I recommend doing daily if possible) I have been a journal writer for a long time.  Even in my teen years.  I have books and books of ramblings that probably will never make it off my dusty shelves, haha.  But it has never been more apparent to me than it was almost 4 years ago when I had my second Manic Episode* that landed me in the psyche ward, how much a journal can help you through out your life.  I have been able to look back and see patterns and signs that have been especially helpful now.

Your journal doesn’t have to be anything special, most of mine are just spiral bound notebooks that I like because they were pretty or had a nice positive quote on the front.  If you know me, you know I’m easily distracted by shiny pretty things, haha.  I love me some pretty little bling.  But I digress.  The importance that a journal can have in your life in a situation such as Bipolar, for example, is immense.  I wish that I’d done a lot more than ramble in mine. But at least I have dates and times documented that I can look back on.  What I have started doing now that has been especially helpful is first, write a small sentence about how I am feeling maybe even rate how I’m feeling on a 1-10 scale.  One being completely down like the worst of the worst, and 10 is thinking that your on fire (I aim for between 6-8. 9 and 10 are danger zones for me).  Some people have even said that putting a small arrow in the corner.  Pointing up=good day,  pointing down=bad day is helpful.  But for me the scale tends to give me a better idea of where I’m standing.

Second, make a list of 10 things  that you are grateful for that day (If you can only do 3 then do 3 and work up). I write in the morning so I always put down things that happened the day before. But if evening works best for you that’s awesome!  Gratitude is an Attitude and before you know it, the gratefulness and love that pours out of you from this small act will amaze you.  One word of advice, these should not be the exact same things everyday.  Look for small seemingly insignificant things that you can appreciate each day.  Maybe some days the best you can do is, “I didn’t trip over the laundry again today!”  Seriously, if we can learn to recognize that there is good in the darkest of days, we can make it through.  As I said before, I am not perfect at these things and there are PLENTY of days that get missed (usually the days that I’m feeling the worst, but hey that’s a pattern you can use later ;)).  Speaking of days that you feel the worst, if you can make yourself do just a few of the things I’m sharing, you are moving in the right direction.  There’s always a way!

2. Find a Friend – It’s not as hard as we make it out to be, however it is difficult.  Yes hard and difficult are two different things ;).  What I mean is, Friends are everywhere, literally (not hard to find),  we just haven’t done the difficult part of reaching out to those around us that could be potentially the best friend you’ve ever had!  Support when you’re hurting can be the best healing balm you can find.  Even if this friend turns out to be someone you’ve never met that you found through a blog online, haha, that went through the same things you are going through.  I promise you, if they are posting online, they are open and willing to talk with you. However it is much more lucrative for you to find someone near you, and spouses and family members can sometimes be the best.   What ever the case, these people can be there IN PERSON to lift you on days that seem impossible to make it through.  To pop by unannounced with a little treat.  Or be there at a moment’s notice when you’re really desperate. Or just to call or text you to let you know you’re on their mind.

I know I’m making it sound easy, and trust me, I know from experience that NONE OF THIS is easy.  But having someone to talk to is so essential for recovery.  Getting better is never a straight line up.  It is filled with ups and downs and curves and hills and it is so much easier to navigate all of that with someone in your corner to support and lift you.   So make a list of people that you feel close enough that you could reach out to them.  I promise you, there are people waiting for you to ask.  Put away your pride and be vulnerable for a minute.  I believe that there are no coincidences in this life.  Everything happens for a reason.  And that person for you, needs you as much as you need them!

3. Find quiet time– Oh how I wish that I’d known this one years ago.  It’s  hard with 4 littles under the age of six, to find an ounce of peace and quiet.  But it is so essential to good mental health.  If you have to ask your significant other or a friend or family member to watch the kids for a few hours a week, do it.  Ultimately 15-30 minutes a day that you can take time out to refresh would be best.  Whether it’s to read or meditate or just tune out for a few minutes.  It is so good for your mind and body to just get a few minutes to think and contemplate how the day is going.  But like I said, if you are unable to do this daily, at least find time during the week that you can take a time out for yourself.  In general most of us tend to do so much for everyone around us, neglecting ourselves.  However, if you are having a hard time functioning, how can you possibly be 100 Percent for everything and everyone else you have to take care of.  Take care of you, then it is much easier to take care of those around you.

4. Find an outlet or hobby– None of the things that I am listing are easy when you have 900 million things to do in a day.  But if you want to have good physical and mental health, these things are so helpful.  I guess if you wanted to, you could consider your workout as hobby, or your daily walk as you time out.  Getting a two for one sort of effect.  But if you want to be really effective, find ways to work these into your schedule.  Again, some things like hobbies don’t have to be worked into every single day.  Once a week can be very beneficial for your psyche.

So let’s just take a look at some of the things that you could do as a hobby and please don’t say social media!!  I’m talking about things like finding time to read that book you’ve been wanting to read since last summer.  Or working on that creative project that you just never seem to have time to get to.  Or writing that book that you always wanted to start, but something else always comes up.  Maybe you’d like to try something new like watercoloring or hand lettering.  Something that really takes you away into another world for a period of time and gets your mind off of the things that you’re struggling with.  There are literally millions of hobbies that you can take on and try.  You’re bound to find something you really enjoy that gives you something to look forward to.

5. Do something for someone else quietly and Intentionally– This is one that has really helped me when I’ve been at my lowest.  When I’m in that spot (you know the one where you just can’t seem to make your self do anything), I don’t exactly feel like getting out and helping someone move, or making dinner for someone (I care barely get that done for my own family!).  However,  doing small things quietly and intentionally, like sending a card, or sending a text, just to let someone know your thinking of them can take the pressure off of thinking about yourself and how bad you feel.  Believe me, I know it can be difficult.  That’s why I say “intentionally”.  Even when you don’t feel like it, make yourself do it.  Don’t just be random about this, honestly try to think of someone else and how you can brighten their day.  I promise you that in doing it, you will get an instant bump in gratification.  You actually got up and did something really nice for someone else.  And the more that you do things like that, the more it will come back to you and the better you feel.  At least for the moment. The reason that I say quietly, is because for most of us who suffer from mental illness, the last thing we want to do is draw attention to ourselves.  So doing small and simple things that you can do by yourself on your own time, without anyone really noticing can be very uplifting and gratifying.  I heard a story of someone that would intentionally place penny on the ground in a specific place that they could follow up on.  knowing that for someone (maybe even a child), it would bring a smile to their face.

So there you go.  5 more habits that you can add to your life to make it better, and to help you be more mentally and even physically healthy.

* One of the first questions that people ask me when they find out that I have Bipolar, is: What is a manic episode like? So I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot and have decided to write a post about it.  It will be  from 2 different perspectives.  Mine and my husband’s (since he has been with me for 2 now).  It will be informative and useful for those who have or are suffering with what they think might be Bipolar.  And also for those of you that have friends or family that you think might have Bipolar and you want to be a support system for them.  So if you’d like to be notified when my posts update.  Just follow me!

 

Enlightened and Rejuvenated!

If you have read very much on this blog, then you know that I have a deep and abiding love for my Savior Jesus Christ and all that He has done, and continues to do for me.  Every 6 months, the church that I belong to, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has a General Conference meeting.  In this meeting we are taught and counseled by our leaders and those that we believe are called of God at this time and day to lead and guide us in the way that we should go.  We believe that just as in times of old,  we have a prophet on the Earth today, President Russell M. Nelson.  We also believe that we have 12 apostles, just as in Christ’s day, that are called by Him to be His disciples.  They are admonished to finish their days on the Earth teaching, preaching, and loving every man, as taught in the books of the New Testament.  What a privilege it is then, to be able to hear, learn and ponder the messages they share with us each Spring and Fall.  If you are interested in viewing any of these messages you can find them here.

The conference held this past weekend was no different than past conferences.  At this time in my life, I try to spend the days and weeks preceding General Conference (I haven’t always been so diligent), preparing my heart and mind to be open to the messages that God has for me personally.  I was especially mindful this time.  I had some very specific questions that I needed answers to.  I was not disappointed.  Not only did all my questions get answered, but very rapidly as the conference began. (They never all get answered, haha). It was if a book had been laid in front of me to the exact page I needed.  And I was privy to the knowledge and answers that my heart yearned for.  And as you may know, those answers are not always the answers that we want to hear, but they are the answers that we NEED to hear.

I won’t say what the questions were or the answers that came, as they are deeply personal.  But, I was assured  once again of the deep and unfailing love that my Savior has for me and indeed for all of us.

I was struck by so many of the messages that the tears began to flow and did so mightily.  I loved every message from our beloved prophet and all of the apostles for sure!  But here are a few of the messages and links to hear them, that especially touched me this time.

One of the answers to my questions came with the very first speaker.  Elder Ulysses Soares.  He taught us of the importance of living and teaching the gospel to our friends and loved ones.  And the importance of teaching, and raising our children in the light of the Gospel. To teach them that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them.  That Jesus Christ, His son, is the Redeemer of the world.  We need to be rooted in the rock of the Redeemer that we may know that as we learn of Him and come close to him we shall never hunger or thirst. Isaiah 49 :10

10 They shall not hunger nor thirst; neither shall the heat nor sun smite them: for he that hath mercy on them shall lead them, even by the springs of water shall he guide them.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVED Sister Sharon L. Eubanks.  She taught that we need to be “plugged in” to the source of light, even Jesus Christ our Savior and Redeemer.   That He is the one that heals us , picks us up and dusts us off and joins with us to pull our heavy burdens.  She taught that in our afflictions He will keep His promises and He will always be with us as taught in the book of Mosiah from the Book of Mormon: Chapter 24

13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

She taught how to access the light of the Savior.  We need only knock and he is there waiting to help is in any way He possibly can.

Matthew Chapter 7

¶ Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

She taught that we should use our light!  We may only be one bulb on a tree but we still shine our small light!

And so many more good messages came from her talk, I hope that you will listen to and be edified.

One other one that really touched me was Kyle S. Mckay . He taught that the Lord’s timing does not equal our timing.  Sometimes we go through things that seem never ending.  But the Lord will not forsake us, nor forget us.   Though we may not see immediate answers or relief in our situations, we can be sure that the Lord will still send us immediate blessings to help us while we are waiting on the greater blessing.  We access this by praying with real intent and full purpose of heart.  And then we recognize and praise God  for those tender mercies that come.  Quoted from the Book of Mormon in  Mosiah chapter 5

10 And again, when they thought of the immediate goodness of God, and his power in delivering Alma and his brethren out of the hands of the Lamanites and of bondage, they did raise their voices and give thanks to God. 

Oh there were just so many good messages.  I feel rejuvenated and edified and spiritually fed.  I am so grateful for the Gospel in my life and the great strength it brings me.  In times of plenty as in times of trial.

I hope that you will take some time to ponder and study the messages that were taught, as I know they come from God and are intended to lift, edify and help us through whatever we may be going through.  You can find out more about my faith, General Conference and Jesus Christ by clicking here.