Author: Wendy Bertagnolli

Welcome to the pointing toward hope blog! I'm so glad that you found me. In this blog I share thoughts about my personal journey of living with Bipolar. I love sharing things that I hope will help you and others in their journey. But I am not defined by Bipolar. I am so much more. I'm a wife, a sister, a daughter, a mother, a grandmother a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and so much more! I hope you'll join me on this journey of finding joy in daily living. Though we may suffer daily with various ailments or situations, joy is possible. It's not elusive. We can point our compass toward hope. We can choose to live!

Anchored with hope

Finding hope or having hope can be a tricky job, especially when you are in the thick of something that is really difficult.

“Hope, the anchor, is essential in this world so full of tidal waves. Sometimes those waves slap us from behind; sometimes we see them coming but cannot stop them or get out of the way. In all cases, hope ties us to safety.” Elaine l. Jack

I have had so many days since being diagnosed bipolar that I find myself sinking into despair.  Even now that I have found a “recipe” of medication that works for me, I still have days where it is hard to find that hope.  But in those times I try to remind myself of these scriptures that promise us that though it may feel like a tidal wave slapping from behind,  there will be a brighter day tomorrow.  We can have faith and trust in the Lord that through that faith we will find hope, an anchor for our souls.

Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God (Ether 12:4)

hope anchor for our souls story

and

Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; (Hebrews 6:19)

Samuel Smiles wrote: “‘Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.’ … Hope sweetens the memory of experiences well loved. It tempers our troubles to our growth and our strength. It befriends us in dark hours, excites us in bright ones. It lends promise to the future and purpose to the past. It turns discouragement to determination.”

That is a beautiful definition of hope! We also need to remember that we are sons and daughters of God and that our Lord and Savior atoned for us.  For all that we are going through, the good, the bad, and everything in between.  He descended beneath it all. He knows our pain and suffering, our successes and Joys.  We need only call upon Him to receive peace.

If thou wilt bow down before God … and call on his name in faith, believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest.   (Alma 22:16)

In a talk given by James E. Faust he says “Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope.” 

I believe these things with all of my heart.  I have tested and tried them many times in the past and I have always been able to find that hope that I am yearning for.  It is not has not been easy for sure!  But eventually it will come if we put our trust in Him.

I know that these posts are short but I mainly just want to give you something to think and ponder on for your day.  Today, if hope is something that you don’t feel like you have, I urge you to get down on your knees and plead with and for your whole soul.  You will find your anchor and peace.  He has promised that you will.

Let us become firmly anchored to the eternal rock of our salvation.  See you tomorrow!

XO Wendy

 

 

 

Trust…

Today I was thinking about adversity and trials and how hard it is sometimes to see beyond the trial.  Especially when we are the thick of it.  I know from personal experience how tough it can be to try to look past today and see a future that is bright.  Especially when you add something like postpartum depression, anxiety, seasonal or ongoing depression, bipolar or any other illness to the mix.  We tend to retreat into ourselves and fail to find purpose in what is happening in our life.  Which I tend to believe is a great amount of refining.  A little bit (or maybe a lot) of pressure and heat to form us into the masterpiece that we are.

One of my favorite scriptures comes from Proverbs 3:5 

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

In that scripture passage there are 4 words that stand out to me.  Trust, lean, acknowledge and direct.

To me, he is saying,  “Do you trust me enough to lean on me and let me guide you?”

When we acknowledge him we are humbling ourselves enough to recognize that he is in control.  When we are humble we are teachable and moldable. We are allowing him to take the wheel (borrowing from Carrie Underwood) and steer us in the right direction.

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again.  His plan for our life is much bigger and better than our plan.  And even though it’s hard when we are in the midst of something especially hard and painful, we have to learn to lean into the Master.  He will mold us and shape us into the great people that we can be.  There is always help, there is always a way.  So today I want you to have hope and thrust that things are going to get better.  Sometimes in the waiting it’s hard to imagine that it ever will.  But finding a little piece of hope is all you need to take one more step towards the end of the tunnel where the light will come shining through. You will look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come!  And if you are already in the light, continue to trust in him to keep you moving in the direction you need to go.  That’s it for today!

XO Wendy

 

Choose Joy!

choose joy

As we have talked about this week, there are ways that we can bring that joy into our lives that we so crave.  We can focus on the Savior, we can serve others,  we can remember our worth and that we are so loved.  And we can make an intentional decision to have more joy in our lives.

I hope that as we have discussed joy this week that you have taken the time to record your feelings in a journal.  And if you don’t have a journal, please take the time to go out and find a cute little notebook that speaks to you. I promise it will bring you a little joy just doing that.

I have found that finding joy in daily living is totally a process.  Let’s face it, some days are just better than others.  This whole week I have been sick (head cold), all I have really wanted to do is lay down and sleep it all off.  But I have felt so strongly lately that I need to be more consistent in sharing my thoughts and feelings somewhere besides a pretty little journal.  Although I highly recommend that and I won’t stop writing in mine, it is also important to follow through on our promptings and impressions.  We are all here to help each other.

This blog is about finding hope and joy.  And while it happens to be filled with my personal experiences, I would love nothing more than to have guest writers come in and talk about experiences that they’ve had in finding joy in daily life.  If this is something that you’d be interested in please DM me.  Or I can just share your story anonymously, I can’t wait to hear from you.  Have a great weekend!  I’ll see you next week!

XO Wendy

 

Joy in Serving

Joy Blooms in ServiceWhen I was a young mother, I had just had my fourth child.  There were some complications during the birthing process.  Consequently my precious tiny boy was rushed to Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City.  For most of the 12 days that he spent in the NICU we wondered if he would be coming home at all.  It was heart wrenching to see that tiny little body lay lifeless in the incubator except for the machine that was helping him breath.  I remember feeling so overwhelmed with heartache, pain and anguish, blaming myself for something that I may have done during my pregnancy.  I had wished so hard for this baby to be born early and now he was, (2 weeks) and at what cost?  What Had I done. It was a terrifying experience that many young couples experience when their child is born with medical issues.  Luckily for us, his stay was brief and we were able to bring him home with just a feeding tube, which he was able to go without in just a few days of being home.

But what I really wanted to talk about today is the joy that can be had through serving others.  That experience with my little boy was hard but it was made bearable by the people who stepped up to serve us.  Bringing meals, taking care of our other children, giving phone calls of encouragement.

One particular act of service was so sweet and thoughtful that it left an impression on me to this day.  One day as I arrived home from the hospital I found a beautiful Easter Lily on my porch.  It was not in full bloom.  Just a couple of blooms were visible.  But it had many buds ready to bloom.  Inside the card that was placed so tenderly among the flowers, it read something like this:  “I know that this has been a really hard time for you.  We wanted to give you something to look forward to each day as you go through this trial.  These beautiful white lilies are precious and gentle just as your baby boy.  They take time to be nourished and to bloom fully.  Hopefully, by the time your little one recovers and is able to come home, the lilies will be in full bloom.”

What a sweet way for us to count down the days until he was able to come home.  And the lilies were in full bloom by the time he was better.

That little act of service brought so much joy into my life when the days were long and hard.

Today, look for small ways that you can reach out and serve others.  It’s the start of the holiday season and a time that we all want to spread joy.  So start today and make someone’s day a little brighter.

XO Wendy

 

The Joy of Womanhood

Hi there!  Glad to see you back.  I hope you are enjoying these little tidbits of motivation.

Today I want you to focus on you! Not in a selfish way but in a way that you begin to see yourself the way the Lord sees you.  For you are more precious than rubies. Proverbs 31

When I was a teenager in seminary, I remember hearing a story about an old janitor who was just beloved by all the students. And so one day the faculty decided to have him talk to the students.  The students were all super excited and anxious to hear what he had to say.  As the meeting opened and he was introduced he walked up to the pulpit and had to take a moment. He had his back turned to the students.  As he turned around he had tears in his eyes.  And then he spoke, “If only you could see what I see!”  He explained that for a brief moment as the teens were entering the room, he felt as though the veil had been lifted and he was able to see who they REALLY were.  Who God sees.  He said, “I felt as though I should kneel down and praise you, for you truly are royalty!”.

I have never forgotten that story.  I think it stuck with me to remind me of who I REALLY am.  A daughter of God, a child of royal birth.

In this world that is so full of deceit and filthiness.  Greed and selfishness. We would do good to take a moment at the beginning of each day to look in the mirror and see ourselves the way He sees us!  And if you’re struggling with seeing that person.  Open up Proverbs to Chapter 31 and be reminded of your divinity.

The below quote is one that I came across in a talk from October 2000 General Conference.  If you’d like to read the whole talk you can find it here.

I hope that today you will find joy in your divinity and peace in knowing that you are a child of God who loves you dearly.  Choose to live in joy today.

XO Wendy