Quality “Quarantine” time

Being stuck in your house is not really fun for anyone.  The recent self isolation or stay at home orders have really wreaked havoc on our routines and daily living.  If we aren’t practicing intentional self care, our mental health can deteriorate rapidly.  It’s only been around a month for most of the country, but seems more like a year, lol!

So here are some practices that you can implement that might help alleviate feelings of depression, isolation, and mindlessness.

  1. Stay in a routine.  So your specific routine has changed drastically over the last month or two but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have A routine.  Start by getting out of bed at a specific time each day.  While working at home is great and being home with kids more, it does tend to allow you to sleep a few extra winks.  And while that may sound like a good idea in the groggy early morning hours, it will ultimately lead to being more tired throughout the day.  Setting a specific time to rise and shine is always a good practice and specifically in times like these!  So up and at ’em with a smile.  Ready to face your day!
  2. Make your bed!  It’s been said that making your bed daily is one of the best practices that you can get into and will start your day out right. Just ask U.S. Naval Officer William McCraven.  This is such a good watch that is well worth your time.  And will get you super motivated, not just to make your bed, but to make your life!

3.  Get out of your pajamas and leggings, take a shower and get dressed!  Sitting around in your pajamas or leggings all day just makes you feel lazy.  This time spent in isolation or “quarantine” can be a time that you can be super productive or it can be a time that you choose to make a temporary vacation.  And while vacations can be a lot of fun and very relaxing, it’s always good to come home!  So as you establish your routine, make sure that it includes getting out of those p.j.’s and into something suitable for your day.  Treat it as if you were not in isolation.  Dress in nice clothes as if you were going to see people other than your family during the day.  Put your make up on, fix your hair and definitely brush your teeth! Oh and wash your hands…again ;)!

4. Get Moving.  Moving your body will not only produce the feel good endorphins that help your brain, but will also help you to stay healthy physically during this down time.  When we are stuck in one place for long periods of time it can cause mental deterioration if we aren’t intentional with our health.  We can also find ourselves in periods of boredom which can cause overeating and overindulgence in other areas such as Netflix binging. I’m always up for a good episode of Grey’s anatomy.  But don’t get in the habit of making a day out of it.

5. Find and learn a new hobby or read that book that you’ve been too busy to find the time for.  Taking up something new, reading a book or learning something new is good for brain health and growth and can also help decrease the chances of Alzheimer’s  disease, believe it or not.  Here is a great presentation by Noelle Pikus-Pace that gives us some ideas of what we can do and how to make learning something new fun and rewarding.  This is also a fun watch and very motivating in getting you excited to do something you’ve never done before.

6. Take up meditation or yoga.  Learning how to stay grounded can be so significant in surviving this “Stay home, Stay safe” order.  One of the most important aspects of learning how to meditate or participate in yoga is to stick with it.  It may be difficult at first to feel like you are getting anything out of it.  But the more that you can make a practice out of it, the better at it you will become.  It will quiet your mind and bring your anxiety and stress to a controllable level. And you can do it almost anywhere.  So when we do get back to our stressful, busy lives, it will be a tool we can use effectively.

Let’s face this head on and make the most out of the time that we have on our hands now. It’s not going to last forever.  It will come to an end. And when it does, let’s be ready to jump back into our lives, healthy, happy and hopefully not (Covid) 19 pounds heavier!

Have a wonderful weekend all.  Keep your distance, stay at home, and stay healthy!

XO Wendy

A New Normal

We are living in a world that is going to have a “new normal”.  As the events of the past few months have unfolded before us, we’ve felt many emotions.  Fear, Shock, disappointment, loss, suffering, helplessness, hopelessness, and many more.  

For some that are single or live alone, loneliness and isolation have been a big part of the past month. As well as those who have had to isolate because of infection by the virus. Or people who have been otherwise hospitalized, who have had to do so without the support of loved ones by their  side.  

Whether for a sickness, or lingering illness, or the joyous event of delivering a baby.  Which has been bittersweet, both joyful and heartbreaking to not be able to share that experience in person with friends and family 

At the same time, as we have practiced social distancing and followed the “stay safe, stay at home”  orders that have been implemented in many states, we’ve felt a closeness to our families that may have been lost.  We’ve been comforted by the fact that we are experiencing the same feelings as people all over the world. We’ve felt joy, compassion, love, tenderness, empathy for those working on the front lines and those who are ill. We’ve mourned for those who have lost their jobs and livelyhood and those that have had to give up dreams that they’ve worked their whole life for. 

Many of us have developed a great love for our leaders.  Whether they be government, church, educators, scientists, healthcare workers, or even company owners who have come forward to help in the face of tragedy.

We’ve felt a renewed love for our Lord and Savior and his atonement and suffering for all of us.  We have realized that we can not carry this burden alone. That nobody should carry these burdens alone. And so we have become united in purpose to eliminate and eradicate this awful virus that has infected not only our bodies, but our lives.

It has been incredible to witness the heroics of so many in our communities as we have faced the pandemic and world calamities (earthquakes and tornados, etc.).  Our hearts fill with gratitude as we see a world come together through something that can’t be seen but only felt.

As someone who already suffers from mental illness and the effects of isolation that it can bring,  I feel a deep compassion for those who have never experienced those feelings who now will find themselves in deep depressions.  Whether from loss, unemployment, isolation, financial struggles or family dysfunction which may have become front and center. Or those who will suffer PTSD from witnessing the most horrible experiences one can imagine. 

But I will forever be an optimist.  I know that we CAN come together as a nation and as a world to fight this horrible disease.  We can make our world whole again by the kindness and love and the attitude with which we choose to move forward.

Will it be easy?  Absolutely not. We have all experienced something that will forever be implanted in our very souls.  Something horrendous. But out of the ashes rises the Phoenix! We can rise as a nation/world. We can rebuild our world and each other instead of tearing each other down.

We can spread love and kindness and come together in a way that no one anticipated a few short months ago. We can find that “new normal” together.  We can build a new world from the love and common ground that we’ve found through the most tragic of events.  

We have been told that it may be much longer than anyone thought that we will be in this situation.  Both fighting for our lives and fighting to stay healthy. But through this time there are still ways that we can reach out.  There are still ways that we can stay healthy and maintain a good attitude. And with the Lord’s help we will conquer this pandemic while simultaneously building stronger families, friendships and communities.

Revelation Chapter 21

3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new

A new normal? Yes.  But possibly a better way of life? Most definitely!

All my love,

XO Wendy

 

Does it ever get better?

Heavy laden

Does it ever get better?  Will I ever feel happy again?  Why is this burden so heavy and why was I asked to carry it?  These are just a few if the many questions that you may struggle with.  Some answers may come quickly then there are some that may never come in this lifetime.

Sometimes you may find yourself digging a deeper and deeper hole as you list off all of the negative ways that BPD (Bipolar Disorder) has affected your life. It’s so easy to throw a little pity party and blame ‘all the things’ on your illness.

But the truth is, there is so much more to you than your illness.  You are not defined by it!  There are certainly times in your life that it may seem to control your every thought and move.  And at times,  you feel like others truly define you by it (some probably do). But it is only Satan that will have you believe that you have no control.  He is the father of all lies.  He would have you believe that you can never get well, that you will continue to hurt others in your life, that your life is not worth living, that you are all ALONE.  But Satan is wrong!

You see, God will never ever leave you!  He begs you to come to Him.  He beckons you to lay all of your burdens at his feet.  To let Him Heal you!

One of my favorite songs by Sidewalk Prophets says:

To the thief, to the doubter
To the hero and the coward
To the prisoner and the soldier
To the young, to the older
All who hunger, all who thirst
All the last, all the first
All the paupers and the princes
All who fail you’ve been forgiven
All who dream, all who suffer
All who loved and lost another
All the chained, all the free
All who follow, all who lead
Anyone who’s been let down
All the lost you have been found
All who’ve been labeled right or wrong
Everyone who hears this song
Just
Come, come to the table
Listen to the song below.

I am reminded of so many times throughout scripture that the Lord pleads with us to come unto Him.  To let Him heal our broken souls.  He says in Mosiah 24:14

 “And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.”

As we approach Easter this year I hope that you will put the atonement of Jesus Christ to work in your life.  He is there for you.  He loves you.  And He has sent many people into your life to be His hands.  To help you and to guide you and to help you realize that you are not alone!

I sincerely hope that your day and weekend gets better and that the sun will shine over you as you push through the hard days in your illness.  Don’t give up! The fact that you are reading this post means that He does hear your cries.

XO Wendy

Somebody’s angel

generous thought

It was Camilla E. Kimball who once said, “Never suppress a generous thought.”  As I have been participating in the #lightTHEworld campaign this year, I have thought about this quote quite often.  I’m reminded that even when you may think that no one cares or that you don’t measure up to what you think you should.  When you think that you’ve exhausted your last card, or screwed things up so bad that no one could love you.  Remember this; You are always somebody’s angel.

I know this because I have so many people in my life that are my Earth Angels. They probably have no idea they helped me in great times of need. From the moms that surrounded me when my children were growing up. To the family that brought us an Easter Lily when we didn’t think our baby would survive the night. To the women and girls who sat with me as I struggled with young children during church while my husband served in the Bishopric.

To the dance teacher that listened to me when I cried my eyes out on the phone.  To the young girl that knocked on my door on my birthday with a big hug and a thoughtful gift.  To the friend who always called at just the right time when I needed it most. To the woman I call mom, that raised and supported me through all of my rough days.  To the woman in my neighborhood who saved me when I didn’t know I needed saving, and then became my second mother. To the older couple that sat by my husband and I every week at church for months, as we made our way back and to the Gospel.  The list goes on and on and I’m positive that you have a list too.

This time of year can be rough for many people for all kinds of different reasons.  It may be the loss of a loved one.  Losing a child or longing to have one.  It could be a body that doesn’t function as it should.  Or an illness that is unexpected.  It could be that this is your first year alone after a divorce.  Or one of the many spent by yourself because you haven’t found your soul mate yet.  It could be sickness or depression, or loneliness, or homelessness.  No matter your situation, I want you to remember that you are ALWAYS somebody’s angel.

If you’ve ever called someone out of the blue because you were thinking about them.  Or had a generous thought to do something for someone, just because and then followed through. Never underestimate the power that one thought can have in someones life.  You truly can be their “angel” in a time of loneliness, distress, or trial.

In honor of the many angels among us, I wanted to share this video and hope you all have an amazing week!

XO Wendy

Seeing the hand of God in your life.

Recognizing and seeing the hand of God in your life can be a daunting endeavor.  Especially on regular routine days that seem nothing out of the ordinary.  Recently I read a talk given to CES students in Texas by Sister Bednar.  In it she speaks of the ability to look for and feel the hand of the Lord working in your daily life.  I loved her counsel so much!

She used a song to express 4 steps that we can use to grow closer to our Father and Heaven and our Savior.  Thus being able to recognize and understand when he is at work in our lives. 1. We must have ears to hear the word of the Lord, 2.  And eyes to see His plan, 3. Feet to follow in His path,  4. And hearts to understand. She goes on to explain each one very briefly and I feel like it is well worth the time to read it so that we can learn to recognize and feel Him close.

eyes to see

There have been many times in my life that I have felt the Lord close and recognized his hand almost immediately and other times when I felt so far away and like he wasn’t there at all for me.

In the talk, Sister Bednar offers a quote by Henry B. Eyring that is very helpful to all of us when we can’t feel him there.  He said, ““I bless you that every day, if you will ask in prayer to be shown where the hand of God intervened in your life that day, I bless you that you will see that. It will be made manifest to you. That you will see that He is leading and guiding and lifting you, and that He knows you”.

Isn’t that such a beautiful promise and blessing from an apostle of the Lord? I am definitely going to start this practice in my own evening prayers.  And maybe morning prayers as well so that I will come to know exactly what it feels like when it is happening.  The Lord wants to talk to us and he wants us to hear and feel him!

I remember one sacred time when I knelt to say my evening prayer. I was exhausted, but I had asked specific questions and then quickly ended my prayer and jumped into bed.  I had the distinct impression saying “why did you get up so quickly? I had things to say to you”.  I kind of brushed it off as my own internal dialogue and snuggled deeper into my blankets.  Then it came again more forcefully, “Get back on your knees and listen to what I have to say”.  And so I did.  And what happened next was one of the sweetest experiences that I have ever had with feeling my Savior so close to me, answering my questions and giving me the counsel that I needed at that particular time.  But it definitely took an open heart and mind to allow for this experience to happen for me.  And I promise that if you follow the counsel from Sister Bednar’s talk you can have similar and equally touching experiences in your life. And even on the daily.

One last quote to consider, Elder Bednar said “It is one thing to know that Jesus Christ came to earth to die for us—that is fundamental and foundational to the doctrine of Christ. But we also need to appreciate that the Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to live in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us”

Today, I encourage you to have ears to hear the word of the Lord, and eyes to see His plan, feet to follow in His path, and hearts to understand.

XO Wendy

 

 

Learning to Love yourself

_who she is IG

I recently went to lunch with friends and we got talking about how hard we are on ourselves.  How we constantly beat ourselves up for every little thing that we do wrong.  And yet if our children or friends were to fall, or fail at something, we are the first to come to the rescue to pick them up, console them and to build them back up.

Why is it that we are so hard ourselves? Especially us women (men too but not to the extremes we see in women)?

It’s funny because sometimes I run across the same message in several different ways when I am trying to decide what to share.  And that’s when I know that it is one that the Lord wants me to share.  Today this message seemed to be everywhere.  I listened to a podcast this morning that talked about how to give grace to ourselves for all of the short falls that we might have or mistakes we may have made in the past.  To learn to live in our feelings of not being perfect, that it’s ok, expected and normal NOT to be perfect.

When I returned from lunch and checked on social media I found this message from our Prophet, Russel M. Nelson.

Ladies (and guys), The Lord loves us and we should love us too. After all we are created in his image.

Think about how awful it makes you feel when your child is down on themselves. When they are saying how stupid they are and what a mess of things they’ve made, or how ugly they are.  It breaks your heart and all you want to do is take all that pain that they are feeling away.  So think how our Heavenly Father (and mother) feel when we are constantly filling our own minds with negative self talk and self loathing.  It must break their hearts and fill their eyes with tears.

Gratefully, this is not something we have to figure out on our own.  As in the statement above we can ask our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ and He will let us know exactly how he feels about us.  And that should make a difference in how we feel about ourselves.  If given the opportunity, I’m sure they would wrap their spirit around us in a big hug of comfort, peace and love. Can you even imagine the great love they have for us?

Oh my dear sisters, (for thats what I believe we all are), if only you could see yourself the way God sees you!  What would change in your life if you knew, really knew, how special you are?

One of my friends shared this idea for a practice that we could start that may help and I thought it was such a good idea.  I think I will get a new pretty journal just for this! 😉

So the idea is to learn to love yourself and recognize all that you do and are that is good.  So every night, you will write down 3 things that you liked about yourself that day.  Then in the morning when you wake up, you read over those three things again.  Then that night you repeat the process with 3 more things (different things) that you liked about yourself that day.  And then the next morning you read over again the things from the night before.  You continue this process daily.  As the days progress you will learn to love yourself and all that you are.  You will begin to see in yourself all of the good that everyone else and especially the Lord sees. You will remember who you are and your life will be changed!

I see you my dear sisters.  I see you.  And you are more beautiful and loved than you can imagine!

XO Wendy

Some days we thrive, somedays we survive.

thrive and survive

Yesterday was one such day for me.  Surviving.  I don’t know if it was the weather (regarding seasonal depression), or I didn’t sleep well, or if it was something that affected me in a negative way.  But it was a really rough day.

My daughter always used to say, “a good day always follows a bad one”. So I sort of clung to that idea believing that I’d wake up and I would feel better.  Maybe not significantly better, but better none the less. I also tried to really focus on my self care and tried to figure out what, if anything I’d been missing.

And that’s what got me thinking about these two very different states of the mind.  Having dealt with seasonal depression pretty much every year for my whole life, I know it never gets easier.  But we can become stronger by the habits that we intentionally develop over the course of the year leading up to this time of year.  You’d think that I’d be ready for it when it hits but not so.  It always just kind of smacks me from behind leaving me wondering what hit me.  But that doesn’t mean I have to get knocked down, or if I do, that I can’t get back up again.

I’m sure that may be the same for many of you who suffer with mental illnesses (or any hard thing for that matter).  So I thought it would be great to try to focus on thriving this year instead of just surviving.  Let’s do it together.  I have a friends who I follow on IG that are such an inspiration to me because even in the really tough times, they are very open and constantly trying to practice good self care.  One of them posted this today and I think it is a really good reminder of things that we can do when we are struggling. If we can practice these things regularly through the hard months ahead, we can thrive instead of just survive.

IMG_6662

And if you are barely surviving, don’t be afraid to reach out.  Please just stay.  Don’t quit! I am always here to listen and I know others are there for you too.  Don’t give up.  It will get better.