Work Hard

Hi friends, and welcome to pointing toward hope. I am your host, Wendy Bertagnolli. This podcast is filled with positivity for anyone seeking to find more hope and joy in daily life. The goal is to reach as many people as we can to help them to overcome and find joy even in the midst of extremely hard adversity. Thanks for listening. Be sure to follow and leave a review so that we can help as many people as possible. If you or someone you know has a trial that you have been able to get through or are working through with the help of our Savior, please contact me so we can get you on the podcast. This is episode 44 and Chapter 7 of my book Keep up the pace.

Chapter 7 Work Hard

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

(Tiffany wiley, Mckayla Carter, Mallory Hamblin)

 Being involved in the pageant industry for six years brought many new experiences into my life. Some were difficult to handle and others were simply beautiful to be of a part of. But if there is one thing that I have learned, whether it be winning a pageant, getting a job, losing weight, or raising children, if you put in the work you will definitely reap the benefits! I saw work in action happen time again in the pageant industry.

As my daughter set out to compete for the title of Miss Teen Utah International, she was not afraid to work hard. As soon as she came up with her goals of what she wanted to achieve and how she wanted to make difference she started working hard by getting more involved in her community.

She wrote a children’s book about her platform, “Kindness Counts”, that she could take into elementary schools to help the children learn how to be more kind. She worked on her walk, her speaking skills, and her physical appearance and when it came time to compete she was able to win the title even though she was the youngest girl competing.

As her mother, I seen her go from a shy, quiet, very reserved little girl, to a confident young woman not afraid to express her ideas and share herself with others.

My first year Directing the teen pageant, I had a contestant enter the competition that wanted to learn how to overcome her shyness, and fear of public speaking. Having never competed in a pageant before, she really didn’t know what to expect or how to prepare. Though we had workshops and appearances to help all of the contestants prepare, she really didn’t put a lot of effort into the competition. When the big night came and she walked out on stage, she was scared to death. She even had to run off the stage at one point because she felt as if she might pass out. She had a fair experience that year, but had she worked a little harder and put a little more effort into it she may have had an even more positive experience.

The following year, I was shocked when she decided to compete again. I figured that as painful as it had been for her to be in front of people on stage, that she would probably never try it again. However, she had seen the growth in herself and knew that if she put more effort into it she could conquer her fear of being on stage and speaking in front of people. I don’t think I have ever witnessed anyone work as hard as she did that year. She literally blossomed into a more confident young lady. With the help of her mother, she was able to set up seminars and gain some experience in public speaking. She went to every appearance and workshop that we held and even scheduled extra time so that she felt strong and ready to compete.

She worked on every area of the competition because she understood the importance of being well-rounded, and she practiced hard. She was committed to finding the perfect wardrobe. One that complimented her physically, and radiated her personal style. When it came time for the competition she felt more confident and ready for the event than she had for anything else in her life.

The competition started out with personal interview. She had practiced and prepared and she was ready. She looked amazing in the suit that she had chosen to compliment her personality. When the interview ended, she felt positive that she had done well. She even commented that she had fun! What a difference she had made in herself and her attitude by committing to put her full effort into this.

I wish that I could say that she went on to win the competition, however after the interview ended, tragedy struck. She was contacted and told that her grandfather had suffered a heart attack and it didn’t look good. How could she continue the competition? It all seemed so trivial now. She decided that even after all her hard work and effort that she needed to withdraw from the competition. I fully supported her in that decision. That decision, in and of itself, proved to me how much she had grown throughout the past year.

A few hours later as rehearsals were being held, this strong, beautiful young lady returned to the competition. Her grandfather had passed away and after much deliberation, tears, and heartache, she and her family felt that it was the right thing to do. The competition took place and she was able to complete every area with ease and confidence. She was able to show commitment, dedication, and drive in a time when it seemed her world had come crashing down. It would have been so easy for her to give up. But because of what she had learned through her hard work she was able to overcome an obstacle in her life that was very difficult.

I found out a few weeks later that she had actually volunteered to speak at her High School graduation! I was so glad to hear that she was continuing to set goals for herself and that she had not let hardship defeat her.

An important concept I have learned through being involved with pageants, is that it is imperative that we continue to set and achieve goals. When I competed in the State, as well as, the National competition I seen contestants who would invest all of their time and effort in to the competition with the expectation of winning. When it was all over and the title was awarded to someone else, they would have such a hard time accepting it and moving on with their lives. I believe that it was because they hadn’t looked beyond the mark.

What happens when you put everything you have into achieving a goal and through your hard work you are finally able to achieve it, or possibly fall short? Is that the end? It absolutely is not. We have to remain in a constant state of setting and achieving goals in order to progress in life. If we give up after one failure we never truly learn what it is to work hard and be successful.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our power to do has increased.”

I have always been one to believe that everything happens for a reason or put another way, there are no coincidences. We may never know what the lesson is that we are supposed to learn from a given situation. Especially, when that situation is emotionally and physically difficult to endure.

Life is full of lessons to be learned. Never ever give up! Keep pressing forward, working hard, and setting new goals and you will become stronger and more capable of maintaining a positive attitude in all areas of your life, regardless of the circumstances.

Your assignment: Read over your list of goals again from chapter 1 and make sure that you are putting in the work to have to the outcome you desire. If not, make some short-term goals that will help you get back on track and get your head back in the game!

XO Wendy

Surround yourself with positivity

Hi friends, and welcome to pointing toward hope. I am your host, Wendy Bertagnolli. This podcast is filled with positivity for anyone seeking to find more hope and joy in daily life. The goal is to reach as many people as we can to help them to overcome and find joy even in the midst of extremely hard adversity. Thanks for listening. Be sure to follow and leave a review so that we can help as many people as possible. If you or someone you know has a trial that you have been able to get through or are working through with the help of our Savior, please contact me so we can get you on the podcast. This is episode 43 and Chapter 6 of my book Keep up the pace. Surround yourself with positive energy.

Chapter 6

” Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits.”

One of my all time favorite movies is Forest Gump. If you have seen the movie, you will recall the statement that his mother taught him to help him overcome the teasing and bullying that he endured throughout his childhood. “Stupid is as stupid does.” She taught him very plainly that people will become what they repeatedly do.

For a period of time, I had a quote hanging on my refrigerator that I wanted to instill in myself as well as my children, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I’d like to put those two concepts together and give you a mantra that is super easy to remember and will change your life if you choose to believe it. “Positive is as positive does.”

When I decided to compete in the Mrs. Utah International pageant, I needed positive thinking more than ever. I had been a stay-at-home mom for almost 12 years. After spending my days changing diapers, reading children’s books, and watching Sesame Street and Barney with my little ones, I was badly in need of something to get me out of my comfort zone. My youngest child had recently started school, so I found myself with a few extra hours to myself.

When I first heard about the competition I was still learning how to live with and manage depression. I knew that if I didn’t find something constructive to do during those hours, I could easily fall into some old negative habits, such as sleeping in instead of working out, eating when I became bored, and the worst habit of all, negative self-talk. So the pageant became a vehicle to motivate me to stay on top of my depression, while at the same time, work on some skills that needed to be dusted off a little. If you spend your days talking to toddlers and building bird nests out of play dough, you will understand what I am talking about. Not exactly the best interview techniques!

I am a great believer in mentoring and being mentored, so I sought out previous pageant winners and asked them to share their secrets with me. The positive energy and motivation that I came away with was incredible! Consequently, I had the tools I needed to achieve my goal. I just needed to learn how to put those tools into action. My first task was to post positive quotes on little post-it notes all throughout my home. As I was working out I would read, “Think lean and strong!”. As I applied my make-up, “Believe in yourself” was instilled in my mind from it’s position on my mirror. When I fixed breakfast, cleaned the house, turned on the television or got into the car, there was one positive message after another. Though the changes weren’t immediate, I did find that slowly I was evolving and changing into a more confident woman! Not only were the changes happening on the inside, but on the outside as well. Of course some of the physical changes could be attributed to eating better and exercising. But for changes to become permanent, they must happen from the inside out.

The most remarkable change was what began to happen in my home with my children and husband. They were visibly happier, more confident, and a lot more willing to help out whenever asked. Instead of the usual “Do I have to?” or “I don’t want to!” statements, their answers became “Sure! No problem.” As a family we were constantly surrounding ourselves with positive sources, people, places, things, and habits. Obviously, we all still had our moments, but for the most part our home life became a much richer and enjoyable place to be.

Surrounding yourself with positive energy can be one of the most powerful steps you can take to gain a happier more fulfilling life. Again, there are times when we can not control the experiences that happen to us, but we can control the attitude with which we choose to face those experiences.

The following are a few ideas that can increase the positive energy in your life.

1. Cleanse your inner spirit. If you have things in your life that are bringing you down or have left you with feelings of guilt or resentment, take care of it! Nothing can lift you higher than offering an apology where one is warranted. Let by gones be by gones. Forgive those who have wronged you, even if they won’t accept your forgiveness. Holding on to grudges only brings you and others down. Start living in the present and let go of the past. I know it is easier said than done, but taking that risk will greatly improve your quality of life.

2. Simplify your life! In the world that we now live it is so easy to fill your life with unnecessary clutter. I was talking to my little sister the other day and she made a comment that reminded me of how my parents had raised us. She said, “It just wasn’t a necessary expense.” How many times do we spend “unnecessary expense” on trivial, unimportant things? It’s easy to do. I’m not just talking about spending expenses. Gaining the discipline to free yourself from “unnecessary expenses” whether it be material items, or time-wasting activities, will make your load lighter and your life much more enjoyable.

3. Consistently avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. If you can steer clear of negativity in all forms you will find a change taking place in your life that is very noticeable. You will become more positive, more confident and a lot more attractive (both physically and mentally) to those around you.

4. Laugh often! Zig Ziglar once said “Laughter is the best medicine.” I can’t think of a better way to remove negativity than to laugh.

Laugh at yourself when you do silly things. Laugh with your friends and family and become closer together. My daughter Saydie, was born with an innate ability to make people laugh. She would be practicing her many faces in the mirror behind us as her Dad and I were reprimanding her for something that she had done. We could never keep a straight face and by the end of our speech we would be laughing so hard we would have tears in our eyes. No matter what is happening, if Saydie senses sadness she will do whatever it takes to make you laugh. Laughter definitely creates positive energy!

“Positive is as positive does.” I challenge you to try it!

Your assignment: Get on the internet or go through books of quotes and positive affirmations. Pick out your favorite and make post-its that you can place in conspicuous places throughout your home, car, office, etc. Read them and re-read them until they are ingrained in your brain and have become a part of your life! You are welcome to use the ones that I have used in this book if you like (they are some of my favorite).

Courage to stand for truth and rightousness

Kind of a little along the lines of what we talked about yesterday.  Today I want to talk about the courage to “stand for truth and righteousness”.

Yesterday we talked about how easy it is to get caught up in Satan’s snares of distraction, discouragement and doubt.  He would have us be miserable like himself so he will do everything within his power to discourage and distract us from the things that are most important.  He will tempt us in every way and make evil sound good, and good sound evil.  It’s his job to make us miserable.

The world and all it’s ways make us feel that when we stand for truth and righteousness that we are somehow wrong for believing the way that we do.  It can cause doubt to overwhelm us and have us question who we are, and why we are here.

When I was growing up there was a famous quote by Malcom X “Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.”  

I grew up believing that what we stood for as believers in Christ was worth standing up for.  Even though I struggled during my own crisis of faith.  I firmly believe that standing up for the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is definitely worth standing for and keeps us grounded and immovable.  Less capable of falling for anything.

Is it easy? Goodness no.  If it were, everyone would be doing it.  Christians in this day and time seem to be rare.  And many are faltering in faith.  But in Joshua 1:9 we are reminded Have not I commanded thee?  Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed for the Lord they God is with thee withersoever thou goest.

In 1 Timothy 4:12 we are told  “…  be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

We are reminded over and over again throughout the scriptures and my living prophets and apostles that we have armies of angels all around us to help us stand for truth and righteousness.  Even when It’s scary.

In the recent April 2021 conference S. Gifford Nielson emphasizes “Heavenly Father sees us as fearless builders of His kingdom. That is why He sent us here during this most decisive time in the world’s history. This is our time!”

President Russell M. Nelson said shortly after becoming President of the Church: “Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, will perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside over this Church in majesty and glory” 

But none of this can happen unless we, as believers of truth and righteousness are too afraid to stand up for what is right.  

Quoting again from S. Gifford Nielson’s talk “When winds blow in our lives, where is our focus? Remember, there is always one reliable source of strength and courage. The arms of Jesus extend to us, just as they extended to Peter. As we reach for Him, He will lovingly rescue us. We are His. He said, “Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine” (Isaiah 43:1). He will prevail in your life if you let Him. The choice is yours. (See Russell M. Nelson, “Let God Prevail,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2020, 92–95.)

My invitation to you today is that you will have the courage to stand for truth and righteousness under all circumstances.  That you will let God prevail in your life and begin to see that light that will aid you in all of your decisions, and choices in life.

That’s it for this week my friends.  If you like what you’ve heard please be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share with friends.  Let’s get the message out that it is through our Savior Jesus Christ that all things become possible. Talk to you all again on Monday!

XO, Wendy

Courage to overcome

Sometimes as humans on this side of Heaven we are faced with incredibly difficult challenges to overcome.  They can be physical, mental, or spiritual in nature.  And can require so much of you that at times you feel hopeless, and without joy. Your path seems bleak and you get to a point where you feel you just don’t have the strength to take one more step forward.  It can be a very lonely place to be.  

Sometimes you may even feel like you are trudging through a deep thick muddy swamp just trying to get to dry land. And with each step you sink deeper and deeper and the path gets harder and harder. Your task at this point then, is to gather the courage to overcome. But how?

That is the question for today?  How do I have the courage to move forward when it all seems so pointless?  I’m not sure who this message is for today.  But I know there is someone that is listening today that feels like everything I’ve said so far is directly for you.  Because that is how God works sometimes.  He puts someone in your path (a messenger) to let you know that you are His.  He’s got you. He wants you to know that He loves you.  He sees you.  He hears your cries.  And you are NOT alone.

I will be reading from Psalm 27 today, verse 1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life: of whom shall I be afraid? 

I have heard many stories of people who have overcome great challenges as I’m sure have you.  But today I wanted to share a story that I found that had such a powerful influence on my life.  Her name is  Cambry Kaylor.  From a very young age she picked up the love of horses and gymnastics.  And began a career of Equestrian Vaulting which is dancing and gymnastics on the back of a horse.  Sounds daunting and scary doesn’t it?  She quickly grew as a master of her art.  Training for 10 years to become an international competitor. She was involved in dance as a ballerina, and in gymnastics.  And competed on her high school diving team.  Very much a talented and vibrant athlete in all aspects of athleticism.  However, while practicing a move on her horse there was a terrible accident and she ended up landing in a way that broke her neck and severed her spinal cord.  She became paralyzed from the waist down. I’ll link her story so you can get the details.  

Can you imagine what you might be feeling when you realize that everything you’d ever worked for, everything you’d ever dreamed of, could suddenly be taken from you all in an instance? You can imagine the despair she must have felt.  

She began to have horrible fear and terrible nightmares about her experience. When she woke up she would hope it was all just a bad dream and that her parents would say she just had a broken leg or something a little less severe.  She wanted anything but the truth!  She just wanted something she could wake up from.

But in all of that pain and heartache that she was experiencing, there was one thing she had in all of her fear.  And that was courage.  She had the courage to want her situation to change.  She realized after months of trying to find what she thought she needed, that what she wanted more than anything was to feel joy again.  And she didn’t have to walk to be happy.  She could create her own happiness and joy.  What an amazing example of courage that took.

Cambry went on to become very successful, taking the reins of her life back into her own hands.

It took time and a lot of patience and hard work.  And I’m sure there was a lot of waiting on Lord.  

In Psalm 27 David finishes his psalm by saying 14: Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart;  wait, I say, on the Lord.

So even though you may be in the mud and muck right now trying to put one foot in front of the other, be of courage… because the Lord WILL strengthen your heart.  Today is the day to take back the reins of your life.  Decide that with God all things are possible to Him that believes!

Have a great day my friends.  I’ll talk to you again tomorrow!

XO Wendy

Refresh and reframe your mindset

Quote Pointing Toward Hope pod graphic_2

At the beginning of the year 2020 we had such a positive outlook on the year ahead!  After all it was the year of “perfect vision”.  Now we are 8 months in, and as I’m sure you will all agree, it has been…. well… a year of some unmet expectations. Ok maybe a lot of unmet expectations! But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the rest of year. And neither should you. Let’s finish out this year STRONG!

So that all sounds great right? But it’s not so easy to do. Especially in our ever changing world filled with uncertainty and fear for what the third quarter of 2020 might bring. I mean I have started and stopped my goal of recreating my relationship with food (hello Covid-19), every time I read something else in the media that produces anxiety.  Maybe it’s time to step away from social media for a while (that’s why I’ve been missing in action for a hot minute, lol).

I’m not suggesting giving it up completely (thats just crazy talk), I mean we have to stay informed. Just choose wisely what you choose to fill your brain with.

Here are a five ways other than going easy on social media, that I have found to deal with the anxiety and hopelessness of the future. And to reframe thinking in a positive and productive way.

  1. Brain Dump Sometimes feelings and emotions can really become too much to bear. A practice that I have found helpful is to get out a journal (you know how I love journals!) and just “dump” all of your thoughts, feelings, emotions and scenarios that you are creating in your mind on to a blank page. You don’t even have to keep it if you don’t want to. I find that just releasing all of that emotion from your head and your heart is truly cathartic. It can be a form of therapy to just let your heart and soul out in words. Words that you’ve been tossing around and around inside your brain, creating all kinds of awful scenarios. Just get it out so you can let your brain rest.
  2. Breathe There are moments when I’m working on something whether it be at work or at home even hanging out at soccer game (yes we just started back up again, yay!), when I notice that I have been holding my breath.  It’s really a common practice to tense up when we are deeply engrossed in something. You may even be doing it at this very moment.  So stop right now and do it with me.  Close your eyes and take a big inhale through your nose (really fill up your lungs).  Now let it out slowly through your mouth.  Now do that 2 more times as you let your body just relax.  Hopefully that will help you feel a little less anxious.  Just breathe.
  3. Kill the ants automatic negative thoughts (thank youJim Kwik). Negative thoughts rob us of joy and kill our hope and steal our happiness. We’ve all heard the quote by Henry Ford,  “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”  Our thoughts are so powerful!  As Jillian Michaels from biggest loser always says, “If you fight for your limiting beliefs you get to keep them. ”  Don’t get caught in the trap of telling yourself that you are not (smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, motivated enough, old enough, young enough etc).  What you tell yourself you are, is what you will become.  Practice self love on a daily basis by being kind to yourself.  Don’t let the “ants” keep you from thriving
  4. Drink yo’ water!!!! I know this might seem like a crazy thing to add in this post. And I will harp on this forever (see more here). There are so many benefits to getting your water in daily (at least half of your body weight in ounces).  And so many negatives to not drinking water.  Being properly hydrated is so important.  Here are just a few benefits:  Weight loss and good skin elasticity.  Muscle efficiency, mood balancer (yes!), temperature control, memory function, and joint lubrication.  It flushes out the toxins that build up in our bodies creating good bowel function.  It aids digestion and creates better immune health.  When we become dehydrated it can cause dizziness, headaches, nausea, weakened muscles and lack of motivation.  Do yourself a favor and fill up your cup!
  5. Get out of your space Sometimes we get so caught up doing things in our own little world that we forget how much of a breath of fresh air it is to get out and see others.  Being with people who love us and support us and laugh with us, might be the most useful and important activity we can do for us and for them!  I can’t wait to be able to hug big again!  Granted this has been especially hard during 2020 with Corona.  But it is not going to last forever and for the time being, we can still get out and walk our neighborhood and wave at others as they drive by, or talk and laugh 6 feet apart.  And sometimes playing games and visiting with your own family in your own home can be such a ray of sunshine. 
  1. I hope that these ideas will help you to find some ways to destress and decompress and refresh and reframe your mindset with everything that is going on in our world.  If you are struggling, please know that you are NEVER alone! 

Isaiah 52:12  For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rearward.

The Lord is always by your side with His angels to assist you.  I know this because he has been there for me over and over again.  Love to you all, have a wonderful weekend.

XO Wendy

P.S.   Big News!  Something fun coming soon!!!

Make sure to enter your email above to be alerted!  I promise you won’t want to miss it!