Please stay

I have been thinking over the weekend about what I wanted to write about this week, I felt a great need to express support for those of you who are really struggling right now with some form of mental illness. I see you! 

I have mentioned in the past few posts about how BPD (Bipolar disorder) is under control for me at this moment in time.  And that can be hard for people to accept when they are in the deep throws of it. I know for many of you, it is a constant struggle.  And I want you to know that I feel you, I see you, I have empathy for you. I DO know what you are going through because I have been there.  I know that each and every day is a struggle to merely survive.

But please, please, please don’t give up!  Just stay! Please stay! We need you, we need your experience, your knowledge, your strength, your courage.  We need to band together as warriors in this great fight against the darkness of mental illness. 

Speaking of warriors there is a great youtube channel called Polar Warriors that is incredible in it’s content.  Definitely worth taking a look at. And also very good for loved ones who have a hard time understanding what a person with mental illness goes through.  While it is mostly about BPD, it can be related to many forms of mental illness. 

In Sister Reyna Aburto’s October 2019 talk she says, when we open up about our emotional challenges, admitting we are not perfect, we give others permission to share their struggles. Together we realize there is hope and we do not have to suffer alone.”

Please don’t suffer in silence.  We need your voice to help end the stigma surrounding mental illness.

Though our illness might be invisible to others, it is definitely not invisible to us.  And we need to acknowledge that and give ourselves grace. Open up and be a support to others and help yourself in the process.  We can do this together. I am always here to listen and share my personal experiences and hopefully help you in some small way. Please know that there is always somewhere to turn.

However, there is only one that descended below all, so that he could succor us in our weakness and afflictions. Look to Jesus Christ in times of dispair.  Open your scriptures, there is great power there. That is how he can speak to you! Know that He sees you! He loves you without condition. He suffered so that we can LIVE!

I hope you all have better days ahead.

XO Wendy

 

Hooray for 2020!

New decadeIt’s time!  I had a little break and now I am back.  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of my break from social media and posting.  But, I have realized something about myself in the process.  This is something that I was already aware of but I guess I just hadn’t figured out how prominently it plays a part in my life.

It’s a symptom of Bipolar and one that I don’t like (not that I like any of them, but there are some positives for having Bipolar. But that’s another day another post, haha).  The symptom is that I start something and then because of the illness I have a hard time physically and emotionally completing it.  Maybe that sounds like an excuse but it truly is a symptom.  It is one of the reasons that people who have bipolar sometimes can’t hold down a job. Or move from one job to another.  It’s crazy but true.

So what I realized is that I totally do this with my blog, social media, work, and other projects that I take on.  The reason is that when we are closer to mania or manic we are like energizer bunnies who are super motivated and driven, big risk takers and willing to take on a lot of different projects, filling our plate to overflowing.  Then when we crash or move down the cycle into the depressive side we get stressed out and overwhelmed and just want to give up on everything.  When in reality what we really need to do is figure out where the balance is.  Medication and therapy can go a long way in fighting to find this balance.

As I said more recently, that this year is probably the best I have felt in a really long time.  And I think it is in large part due to the fact that I am learning to find that balance.

Believe me when I say that this blog can be a double edge sword.  In part it works as therapy, but if not handled properly, can become a source of stress and overwhelm. I love helping others who may be suffering in silence, but not at the expense of own health.  So one of the goals that I have made this year is to recognize that and give myself grace.

I am still going to do all that I can to post regularly, but some weeks it may be everyday and some weeks it might just be once or twice.  And that is completely acceptable and ok!

I have a lot to look forward to this year, this decade!  I am excited to continue moving forward with my health and well being and one of the main goals I want to focus on with my health (besides balance) is my nutrition.  Nutrition plays such a HUGE part in the life of all of us of course, but is particularly important with someone who suffers with mental illness.

I am so excited about this because it’s something that has been a big issue in my life.  So my goal is to stop the yo yo dieting.  Eating terrible and gaining 10-20 lbs and then feeling awful and eating great for a period of time and losing it, only to continue the cycle.  I know this doesn’t just apply to those with bipolar or mental illness but in my case, I know myself well enough to know that it is definitely part of the manic/depressive cycle.

I would like to get to the point where I recognize how what I am eating is making me feel physically and emotionally. Believe me I’ve tried every diet out there and have been trying to stay keto for a long time now.  There are so many studies out there that show it helps the brain and I really want to heal my brain.  But truthfully, I would lose a few pounds then gain it back.  I felt deprived and unhappy most of the time on it.  And I didn’t really feel like I saw improvement in my brain.

In my religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints.  We believe in something called the Word of Wisdom.  It’s found in section 89 of The Doctrine and Covenants. That’s the reason that we don’t drink alcohol, coffee, tea, or consume drugs, and tobacco.  We believe in moderation in all things, that fruits and herbs should be consumed with prudence, and that proteins should be consumed sparingly.  We are also told that grain is the staff of life and good for food (I think that kind of rules out keto, haha).

Also that which yieldeth fruit , whether in the ground or above the ground. 

Then the really great part about this is that it comes with a promise from the Lord.

In verse 18-21 That we will receive health in the navel and marrow in the bones; and shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures (I would say that is in reference to our brains being strengthened).  That we shall run and not be weary and walk and not faint (energy!).  And the best of all, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, and not slay them (which can be interpreted in many ways but definitely sounds like a good thing!).

So to recap, fruits and vegetables in moderation, meat sparingly, and grain in moderation.

I started working on this about 2 weeks ago.  I had been in a gain cycle for about 3 months (12 pounds worth) and knew I needed to do something.  I felt inspired that this is the answer.  So in practicing these principles, so far I have lost half of the weight, I have energy, I eat when I am hungry, (making good choices).  And I if I’m honest, this is something that I definitely think will be easier to maintain for a lifetime.  Oh, and I don’t deprive myself of anything, I just remind myself that MODERATION is the key.   But because I have the sugars in fruit I haven’t really craved many sweets (which has always been my nemesis, hense, why keto was so hard for me to stick to).

Sooo, you are welcome to join me on the journey in search of balance emotionally, mentally, and physically in large part through health and nutrition.  Just message me if you’d like more info on exactly what I am doing.

That’s all I have for today, I hope that everyone is having a good start in 2020.  This is the year for clear vision of what we want to achieve.  Let’s do this!

XO Wendy

 

2019 has been…

A great year!  I have so many things to be grateful for this year.  Has it been hard at times?  Yes of course.  But I feel so incredibly blessed to have lived this life for another year.  You know, I AM getting up there, haha.  The 50’s haven’t exactly been my favorites.  But I am working on having a better attitude about them :).

So I know it’s only been a few months since I started writing daily but I feel like the holidays are so important for all of us to be spending time with our friends and families.  So I will be taking the next few weeks off of writing to spend building those relationships.  I may possibly write one or two in between (just have to see how it goes), but that is the plan.

I am so appreciative of those that follow me and those that read what I have to say.  I am humbled by those of you who have shared with me your feelings, experiences, emails, comments, and love this past year.

My health journey is on going and something that I will continue to progress through.  I am determined to be able to continue on a good healthy path and hope that I can help any of you along the way who might be struggling.

Mental illness is no joke!  It’s can be debilitating and life threatening.  If you or someone you know suffers with any type of mental illness, please, please, please seek help or help them get the help they need.  It’s out there and it can make your life livable and breathable again.  Please don’t suffer in silence. Make it your goal in 2020 (a new decade!), to get your life back!  Make it your goal to get healthy and happy, make it your goal to not just survive but to thrive!  And above all, have joy!

I love you all.  Merry Christmas!

XO Wendy

Training in the off season.

The Lord is strong towerI was reading about Captain Moroni (the youngest Chief commander mentioned in the Book of Mormon) this week in chapters 46-52 and was impressed with the thought of how we can never quit preparing for the “race”.  We are in the race of a lifetime here on Earth.  Battling against Satan at every turn.  And even when we feel like we are at the top of our game, or winning the race, we can’t stop “training”.

When the Nephites battled under Captain Moroni’s command they fought for faith, liberty, their families, their land and their peace.  If ever we have been in a fight like Moroni’s, it is today!

In verses 10-13 of chapter 48 it describes some of the characteristics Moroni had and what kind of person he was.  Mighty and strong (at 25 years old), smart, compassionate, had courage, was grateful, worked hard, he served the people, was faithful and full of integrity and he was obedient.  He was such a good man that in verse 17 it reads: Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; Yea the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men

First of all it talks about the way that he taught them to never raise arms unless it was against an enemy to preserve their lives. Then they armed themselves with shields and helmets and breastplates to protect themselves from the enemy.  They put on all their armour.  Then he fortified the land.

But what stood out to me in all of these chapters as they fought their enemies, was that even after they had conquered their first conflict, he did not take a break.  After the people had praised and remembered the Lord and given all credit to Him, Moroni knew that he needed to continue to prepare the land and his people for when the wars would start again.

It says that he commanded the people that they should dig up heaps of earth around the city. Then on top of those ridges add timbers the height of a man. Then on top of those timbers a frame of pickets and they were strong and high. But not only that, he had them build towers so they could see when the enemy was approaching.  And also places of security to be built upon those towers.  They called all these “strongholds” which defined, is a well fortified place or fortress.  Moroni was teaching the people how to keep from being defeated.  And I believe that this means both temporally and spiritually.

So the question I have for you today, is how will you build up “strongholds” in your own life?  How will you continue training for the race of life?  Will you sit down once one race has been won or will you keep training even in the off season?

I have some recommendations here.  But ultimately you will have to decide for yourself what you will do to build your own “strongholds” against the enemy.  Because you/we are in this fight for our lives!

Have a great day!

XO Wendy

 

Choose Joy!

choose joy

As we have talked about this week, there are ways that we can bring that joy into our lives that we so crave.  We can focus on the Savior, we can serve others,  we can remember our worth and that we are so loved.  And we can make an intentional decision to have more joy in our lives.

I hope that as we have discussed joy this week that you have taken the time to record your feelings in a journal.  And if you don’t have a journal, please take the time to go out and find a cute little notebook that speaks to you. I promise it will bring you a little joy just doing that.

I have found that finding joy in daily living is totally a process.  Let’s face it, some days are just better than others.  This whole week I have been sick (head cold), all I have really wanted to do is lay down and sleep it all off.  But I have felt so strongly lately that I need to be more consistent in sharing my thoughts and feelings somewhere besides a pretty little journal.  Although I highly recommend that and I won’t stop writing in mine, it is also important to follow through on our promptings and impressions.  We are all here to help each other.

This blog is about finding hope and joy.  And while it happens to be filled with my personal experiences, I would love nothing more than to have guest writers come in and talk about experiences that they’ve had in finding joy in daily life.  If this is something that you’d be interested in please DM me.  Or I can just share your story anonymously, I can’t wait to hear from you.  Have a great weekend!  I’ll see you next week!

XO Wendy

 

The Joy of Womanhood

Hi there!  Glad to see you back.  I hope you are enjoying these little tidbits of motivation.

Today I want you to focus on you! Not in a selfish way but in a way that you begin to see yourself the way the Lord sees you.  For you are more precious than rubies. Proverbs 31

When I was a teenager in seminary, I remember hearing a story about an old janitor who was just beloved by all the students. And so one day the faculty decided to have him talk to the students.  The students were all super excited and anxious to hear what he had to say.  As the meeting opened and he was introduced he walked up to the pulpit and had to take a moment. He had his back turned to the students.  As he turned around he had tears in his eyes.  And then he spoke, “If only you could see what I see!”  He explained that for a brief moment as the teens were entering the room, he felt as though the veil had been lifted and he was able to see who they REALLY were.  Who God sees.  He said, “I felt as though I should kneel down and praise you, for you truly are royalty!”.

I have never forgotten that story.  I think it stuck with me to remind me of who I REALLY am.  A daughter of God, a child of royal birth.

In this world that is so full of deceit and filthiness.  Greed and selfishness. We would do good to take a moment at the beginning of each day to look in the mirror and see ourselves the way He sees us!  And if you’re struggling with seeing that person.  Open up Proverbs to Chapter 31 and be reminded of your divinity.

The below quote is one that I came across in a talk from October 2000 General Conference.  If you’d like to read the whole talk you can find it here.

I hope that today you will find joy in your divinity and peace in knowing that you are a child of God who loves you dearly.  Choose to live in joy today.

XO Wendy

We All Matter|We Are Here to Love

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of the love and support that I have had over the years.  I am so, so grateful for it.  Let’s face it, this life can be difficult sometimes and it’s nice to have someone to talk to and lean on.  I believe that we are all here to help each other on this journey through life.  Whether it be by kind and simple acts of service or being a shoulder to cry on, or someone to hang out with.  Sometimes it is even through the roughest moments of our lives that someone comes along and is able to give us the push we need to move forward or says the exact right thing we need to hear.  I call that divine intervention and I don’t believe it is a coincidence at all.

Some people may not believe that there is a divine being that cares about us more than we can ever imagine, and that’s ok.  We are all different and have different paths and journeys that we take in this life. As I always say, I can only speak from own experience.  But there are so many other people’s experiences in this life that we can learn and grow from.  And if we shut people out because they don’t believe exactly as we do, we are literally passing judgement on them.  Does not Jesus Christ (whom I believe is that supreme being for me and all of us), say in Matthew 7:1-2?

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

I have spoken of this subject before. But I firmly and so totally believe that we are going to speak at some point for how we judge our fellow men.  I believe that is a question that we will be asked, “How did you treat others? How did you think of others?  Were you your brother’s keeper?”  No matter the situation that we came to this world in, all people including ourselves, are deserving of unconditional true love and charity in it’s deepest form.

In this world, unfortunately, we are so completely bombarded with judgement and selfishness and harshness from those we love the most and those who don’t know us at all.   There is so much negativity in this world as we know it.

Fortunately for us there is an opposite side to that negativity.  However there must always be a push and pull, or good and bad.  In the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, we read in 2 Nephi 2:11

11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.

With that being said, we must embrace positivity with all that we are.  And upon on doing that we must grow in acceptance and love, pure and unconditional, that reaches out and fills the cups of others.  Can we not accept the fact that we are and always will each be individuals in this the human race?  We are all human beings!  That doesn’t make us any better or worse than the person sitting next us.  We are each deserving and worthy of love and light! Our responsibility is to see the divinity in others, no matter what situations they may be in.  We need to be better , we need to do better in that treatment of each and every one we come into contact with.

I’m certainly not saying that I’m am perfect at this in any way!  In fact quite the opposite.  I am such a work in progress.  That is why I write what I do.  It is usually because of some experience that I have had that inspires me to speak about something like this.

Jesus taught us so much in parables about the way we are to love and treat each other.  Did he not teach the parable of the good Samaritan?  And the prodigal son?  Those who labored in the vineyard, some that came in the morning and some that came in the evening to work, yet all were payed the same? Do these parables not teach us that we are equal in His eyes?  That we need to treat each other with respect and divinity, no matter how differently we may think or act or look? Are we not all deserving of this great love that Jesus so spoke of?  The answer is a resounding YES!  We are all deserving, all worthy and we are all worth it!

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the twelve apostles said, God sees you not only as mortal being on small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and  designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”

Yes we are worthy of and worth His love.  Which in turn means that we are worthy and worth the love of others, no matter the circumstances or the choices that have been made on our individual journeys.  Remember we have our journey and other people have their journey.  We all respond and learn differently.  But we are asked to love others without condition. speaking of the two great commandants in  Mark 12:31 we read:

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt lovethy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

I will completely and wholeheartedly take responsibility for my own shortcomings in this  area.  I have so much to learn and so many people to accept and love. And I’m am so grateful to the supreme being who loves me and knows my shortcomings and doesn’t expect me to be completely perfect.  He knows that I am going to fall short and yet loves me anyway.  He loves each of us anyway!  No matter how broken or  wronged or battered you feel, you do have one who loves you so greatly and so completely that He died that you might live!  You are important, you are loved, you are enough! You are the you that you were meant to be!  Embrace that.  Embrace others for the diversity that surrounds us.

We are SO blessed to live and love and have this great adventure that we call life!  My challenge is for myself and for you to go out today and love on someone who needs your love.  Love so hard that you forget that they are different and think different than you do.  Love them unconditionally and perfectly.  As that is how our maker loves us.  “As I have loved you, LOVE one another!”

34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. John 13:34-35