Coming back…

“…in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.

My beloved brothers and sisters, I plead with you to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation.” President Russell M. Nelson remarked in 2018 General Conference.

This particular passage came into my mind with such force this morning.  I don’t know why. I’ve learned not to question. But to allow things like this to marinate a little and wash over me.  What is the reason? What is the purpose for this? Maybe a reminder to not take my experiences for granted. Because there was a time when I did just that.  Took it all for granted.  

We are all a constant work in progress.  Trying to live each day in the best way we know how.  Despite the many setbacks, trials, sicknesses, and other life events that we encounter, we push forward to find a way…. Our way.  

My way is certainly not the best way, but it’s my way, my journey. And your way, is your journey.  And no matter the circumstances we face in our lives, part of living is learning to enjoy and even flourish amidst all that we face in these confusing and sometimes dark days.  

Pain is part of it. Joy is part of it.  Tears and heartache are part of it. Success and conquering are all part of this journey!

This blog is my story, my life, my journey.  I can’t change anything for you in your personal life.  Only YOU can do that. But as I have mentioned in many of the posts I have written.  You don’t have to do it alone. You are NEVER, EVER alone!

Sometimes it may feel like it.  Sometimes it may feel like Heaven’s doors are shut and locked to many of us.  We want to know and to hear and understand, but sometimes (and I’m just speaking from my own experiences here), it is not the Lord that walks away from us.  We distance ourselves from Him. Not in a completely intentional way but in an “I’m not sure this is what I want in my life right now,” sort of way. I just want to find out for myself.”  And I am here to suggest that this is EXACTLY what you need to do. Find out for yourself!  

No one can get you to feel or grow and progress spiritually except for you. And it takes work.  You can’t just expect to have all the answers laid out in a neat little package for you. But questioning is part of that work. And though it may feel as though Heaven is closed, believe me when I say, those windows and doors are wide open, waiting to pour out blessings upon you.

We do have to ask, seek, knock in order for those answers to come. And it is hard.  He never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it! 

Several years ago (It’s been almost 8 years to be exact), I found myself in a position of questioning and struggling with things of a spiritual nature.  I would ask myself (and sometimes others) the impossible questions. Why faith? Why is everything predicated upon faith? If there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people?  Why are there starving people in the world? Why is there so much sickness and despair and natural disasters? If there is a God, why can’t I feel Him, why does He talk to others but not me?  And where is my “beyond a doubt” moment? And so many other relevant questions that many of you are asking yourselves right now.

I certainly do not have all the answers.  I am a work in progress, just like everyone else.  I only see it the way that it happened for me. As it is for all of us.

When I left the Church that I was raised in, I walked away from a culture.  I walked away from a “building”. I walked away from what I knew at the time.  I slowly moved away from my Savior, (even though I didn’t believe that at the time).

But when I came back, I came back because my Savior found me. He found ME. Though I was lost, HE went out looking for me.  He left the other sheep to find the ONE. I don’t know how or why it happened for me the way that it did. I don’t know why that passage came to me with such force this morning.  I’m still not sure. Maybe the good shepherd is out there looking for YOU.  Perhaps I am just the messenger.

I know you are struggling right now to find answers.  Your road will not be easy.

My road was NOT an easy road.  And to have it to do over again… I’m sure I would have pleaded to find another way.  A way that wasn’t as painful and full of struggles as it was. But in that same breath, I have learned and grown in ways I never could have imagined.  Ways that I never would have if my road had been different.  

He heals me every day that I allow him to.  He carries me when the days are long and hard.  He finds me when I get lost for a moment. He LOVES me without condition.  He is my strength when I feel weak. He is my hope when I feel despair. He brings me so much joy and peace.  He found ME but in HIM I find my peace, strength, love, hope, and healing. He is my Savior and redeemer.  

This is my story, it is my journey, my life.  And through it all He WAS there. Even when I thought He wasn’t.  He WAS THERE! For ME. The ONE!

And he will be there for YOU too!

XO 

Wendy

Matthew 12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

13 And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

Be grateful for today.

Be thankful for how far you’ve come and what you’ve learned along the way.  We only have one life!  

Don’t waste it away worrying about what you haven’t yet been able to do.  Make today great and full of gratitude and everything else will take care of itself.

Your words matter…

IMG_6784

I was listening to my second cousin, the amazing Stephanie Tarnasky, she owns Olive Ave: A women’s clothing store, @oliveaveboutiqueif you want to follow her on IG.  She is basically one of those most positive and uplifting person that I know.  And she doesn’t all while being super real.

Anyway, she was talking yesterday about how she has suffered from hair loss for years.  She started losing it after she lost about 60 pounds and before she had any children.  It has been a tough journey, but she handles it with such grace and has been really open about it this past year as she started wearing wigs because she was just tired of not having good hair.  As I listened to her yesterday as she was talking about it, at one point she became emotional, I could sort of relate.

Not that I have had to deal with the same trial but there are definitely days when I say, “I hate that this is what I have to deal with in my life every day (having bipolar).  I hate that it’s always at the top of my mind and even though it’s not something that can be physically seen (maybe especially because it’s not), it’s still really, really hard! And just talking about it can sometimes make me emotional.

But as I was listening to Stephanie, I thought about what she was saying and you know what?  We all have HARD things to deal with in this life.  Rarely are they the same things that others around us struggle with.  But hard nonetheless.  And the truth is we can choose to handle it with a positive words and actions or negative.  Easier said than done, right?  Right!  It’s kind of like a muscle that we have to work out to get tone and developed.  We can’t just wish it to be, or workout once and hope it gets developed and beautiful.  It takes a lot of hard work.  And to be honest, a lot of focusing on the positive aspects that come from what ever hard thing you are dealing with.

It’s the same with our attitude.  It takes hard work to develop that positivity that seems to come naturally.  And it takes an extreme amount of focus to catch yourself when negativity creeps back in.

It’s funny because I had this dream the other night and when I woke up I was thinking about a couple of scriptures that I had read in the Book of Mormon this past week, (We are studying it as a worldwide church this year in a program called Come Follow Me).  I dreamt that in one of our youth organizations, the girls (teenagers) were being really mean and ugly to their leaders and just disrespectful with their words and actions.  And the thought came to me, “be careful of the “manner of language“…. which you use”.  Immediately I recalled my study that had used these exact works a few times throughout the study for this week.  I had noted it which is probably why it was on my mind.  It is found In 1Nephi 5:3,6 and 8. You can view the story of this family here.

In this particular part of the story the mother and father are probably having a somewhat heated discussion.  This story is being told by one of their sons.

1 Nephi Chapter 5:3  it reads And after this manner of language had my mother complained to my father.  And then in Chapter 5:6 it reads And after this manner of language did my father Lehi comfort my mother, Sariah And then once again (after the ordeal they were arguing about was over), Sariah says in verse And she spake, saying: Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons,…..and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them. And after this manner of language did she speak.

So as I pondered that I thought about the way we use our words (language).  Do we use them wisely? Are we kind, loving, positive and hopeful like Lehi was in verse 6?  Or do we use those words to be unkind, belittle people, disrespect and be negative to ourselves and others?

I feel strongly that this is a tool that Satan is using, and most effectively I might add, to cloud our thinking and cause distress and anxiety in our lives.  The manner of language that we use can be a force for good and abundant living.  Or it can be a thorn and a hinderance for all that we are meant to do.

My point is that I want you to consider the “manner of language” that you use to speak to others and to yourself.  We have a great opportunity with the rolling in of the New Year to make a resolution that we will build our positive and uplifting muscles so that the “manner of language” which we speak and the actions that we show, will draw others toward us and toward God, rather than away from.

Just think of the good that we can do, not only for others, but for ourselves if we build, respect, love, and speak kindly. Let’s build that muscle in 2020!

Remember, we all struggle with HARD things but positive words and actions can change everything!

That’s it for today.  Make it a great day!

XO Wendy

 

Taking action

Yesterday we talked about action words.  And Last week we talked about how powerful “words” can be.  Especially from our own self talk. In order to make lasting change you have to take action.  You can’t just think or wish that things will happen.  You have to take action and move somewhere, whether that’s forward or backward, you have to move.

And you have to believe in yourself and talk positively “I can do this”!  Because you can.

So many times we get so many different pans in the oven (and I am famous for this), that when it comes to taking action, we become frozen because there are so many choices.  Where do I go first?  How do I make this change in my life?

But the important part is that you just have to make a choice, and then MOVE!  This choice is not going to determine the rest of your life.  It is one step in a positive direction.  Take the step.  Move forward, then evaluate and take another step.

Ready, fire, aim

I listen to several podcasts about self-development or improvement and one that I listen to is called Next Level Life by Preston Pugmire.  In it he talks a lot about changing your mindset and also about a  strategy or idea called Ready, Fire, Aim.  This is a bit different than what we usually hear (ready, aim, fire).  He teaches the idea that we have to pull back the arrow and “fire” (act, do something), then see where the arrow lands, then evaluate and take another shot.  But the point being we have to MAKE A MOVE.

As we come up on the end of the year.  I hope that we will come at it sprinting to the end of it.  And then breaking through the tape and running straight on into 2020 full steam.  We can change, we can take control and start seeing the results of our effort!

I love this quote from Philip Floor’s book Ready, Fire, Aim.  ” Expecting things to change, without being willing to change, will result in no change—because nothing changed.”

Have a great day, we’ll do it again tomorrow.

XO Wendy

What does joy mean to you?

I am so happy to let you know that I am going to try something new with my blog.  And if all goes well with it and I can keep up, lol, it could work into even more exciting and fun things.  So starting today I will be posting daily, yes daily.  This will be your little daily dose of spiritual and/or motivational content.  Each day I will focus on various scriptures, quotes, motivational talks, etc.  It shouldn’t take you more than 3-7 minutes to read.  This one may be a bit longer because I want to explain why I am doing this.  I would love to have your feedback on things that you would like help with.  Or things that you have questions about that you would like me to study and share.  Or maybe things that I have posted in the past that you would like more of.  And then we will just walk this path together and hopefully it leads us all to somewhere great!

As you may know if you’ve followed me long enough, I LOVE journals!  I have several.  Gratitude journals, scripture journals, personal journals,  mental health journey journals, my favorite-things-I’ve-come-across-that-I-want-to-remember journals.

The funny thing is that they each have their purpose.  But right now they pile up in my home and no one gets to read them.  I really think that they can be of benefit to more than just me.

So on to today and this week’s ponderings. JOY!

JOY!

It’s so mysterious the way the Lord works.  I am continually amazed at how He threads and weaves patterns into our lives and increases our faith by the experiences that we are allowed to have. As I have been preparing my upcoming blogs this past week (because I have to be at least a few days ahead :)), and have been studying joy, I have had placed in my path too many coincidences to count as coincidences.  I have been shown, taught, or filled with joy through various avenues.  Whether it be through a quote or scripture that I have come across on social media etc., an act of service, or a talk that someone gave in church. Even in a book that was recommended  to others through a story on Instagram.  I love to see the Lord working in my life and in others.  He truly wants us to have this joy that feels our souls even in times of trial and difficulty.  I hope that you can find some of that joy today!

Something you should also know about me is that I am a thinker and a ponderer and a lover of learning, and I ask God a lot of questions.  What I know is that He always finds a way to give me the answers.  Sometimes they come soon and sometimes they take longer.  And to be honest, there are some that I am still waiting on the answers.  But here’s the thing, I KNOW that God loves me and I KNOW that He loves you too.  And if you ask, He has promised that you will receive.

Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Doctrine and Covenants 88:63

He wants the best for us He wants us to be happy and above that He wants us to have JOY!  He wants to bless us and He will meet us where we are and show us the way.

JOY!  There is a difference between happiness and joy.  I want you to ask yourself, what makes joy different than happiness for you?

Ponder on that, and today I want to share a story that comes from the Book of Mormon.  I’m not going to share the whole story here because I want you to go and read all of Alma 26 it is SO good!

This is the story of Ammon and his brethren who went to preach to the lamanites and converted many souls to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Ammon is expressing the joy he feels.   He states in  26:8. Blessed be the name of our God; let us sing to his praise, yea, let us give thanks to his holy name, for he doth work righteousness forever. 

Here Ammon is expressing his joy for the conversion of many of the Lamanites.  In  fact he is so bold in his joy that his brother chastises him for boasting.  Ammon explains in V.11-12

11 … I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever. 

and then further down in v. 36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people. 

Yes my friends, we have an awesome God who can bring so much joy!  He is mindful of our daily struggles but if we put our focus and trust in Him we can find that kind of joy.

I also did a little research on Joy which we will get more into as the week progresses.  However, if you look joy up in the dictionary it says that it is an emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.  Some synonyms for joy are; bliss, comfort, satisfaction, wonder, gladness, solace, treasure, elation, glee, delight, cheer, gaiety, gratification.  And these are just a few.

I asked my husband what he thought the difference was between joy and happiness, he explained that joy is so much more!  It envelops you, it’s encompassing, it pushes everything else away and consumes you in the most positive way.  I loved that so much!  In short, happiness is fleeting, an experience that comes and goes.  But joy is eternal, everlasting.

I have experienced that true unfiltered joy when I had each of my babies. There is just nothing like that feeling of being so joyful that you feel like you might burst!  Holding that miracle in your arms for the first time, snuggling that tiny nose.  And counting all 10 fingers and toes.  Having them snuggle into your chest and fall asleep.  And oh the smell of a newborn baby!  The feeling, that bond, is like nothing else in this world and it goes on and on as they grow, (even when they sometimes drive you crazy, haha).

There are a lot of other ways and times that joy is developed and grows and we’ll talk about it a lot more this week.   As you go about your day, ask yourself what brings me true joy, the kind that goes on and on?  And then take a minute to record it somewhere… maybe in a new pretty journal 😉 so you can read about that experience next time you are having a down day.  That’s it for today!  Make it a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow!

XO Wendy