An Ordinary Box? Or Something More?

Imagine for a moment, a medium sized moving box, (maybe one that you could put a couple loads of old clothes in).  Dingy, old and worn, smelling musty from being stored for a long period of time.  Maybe even a little water damage can be seen in the ripples of the beat up box.  Dust has begun to collect from the years of being untouched.  An ordinary storage box by outward appearances.

Ok.  Do you have that mental picture in mind?

Now let’s take this imaginary box to a new level.  Though ordinary, there is something different about it.  This box can not be seen by the naked eye.  Beat down, worn out, and barely noticed anymore.  But….YOU CAN see it clearly now.  And It is time to open this box and discover what is inside. For some reason, you are a little afraid of what you might find, but you decide to open it anyway.

To your astonishment, as you open the box, familiar things begin to suddenly appear in your minds eye.  There are loads and loads of memories inside.  Good ones, bad ones, happy and sad, success and failure, adventure, and despair.  But wait.  Some of these memories you recognize, and some you have never felt or seen before.  How can that be?  It is YOUR box, right?

Then you realize deep in your soul that these are ALL of your memories!   A Lifetime’s worth!  All of your emotions, your hopes and dreams, your adventures, your experiences!  Even those you haven’t had or seen before. All of them trapped deep inside this box never to be found.  And then it hits you!

It comes to you with great force, like a huge punch in the gut. You feel sick to your stomach as you realize that this  box was created FOR YOU!  Not only that, it was built BY YOU!

You suddenly realize that there is one emotion that is not trapped or missing.  It is the very same one that kept you from opening it to start with.  The very one that you are feeling right now.  It’s Fear!  Fear of what might have been inside.  Fear of what might have happened if you opened it.  Fear of the unknown.  Plain and simple, the emotion is  Fear.  And you realize that you have been filled with fear for a very long time.

Ok, snap out of it.  Back to real life?  How do you feel?

No worries.  The great thing about imagination is that it is just that, imagination!  And that means that you can change the way this story ends!

And you know what?  It is time!  It is past time for you to take control of your fear.  Kick it to curb.  Release all of those past experiences and failures that have made you afraid to experience your life. Afraid to try new things, to take risks, to become more than you are and learn something new.

Because no one wants to look back at their life as they take their last and final breath and see that there was so much more that could have been.  If only they would have opened the box!

Break free!  Your life is waiting for you!

XO, Wendy

What prompted this post:  I realized that since I was diagnosed with Bipolar 5 years ago, I have been so afraid of what might happen.  It took several years to get meds right and get my physical, mental, and spiritual balance back.

But since then I have been somewhat paralyzed by the worry that it will happen again (meaning I would end up in the psychiatric ward again).  So what if it does?  It wouldn’t be the end of the world.  I mean, I do NOT want that to happen for sure!  However I  have survived.  I’ve been surviving it most of my life (with the help of my Savior and redeemer carrying me every step of the way).

But the difference now, is that I am so much stronger.  Because I know.  I know what I am dealing with.  I know what triggers me.  I know what precautions I need to take.  There is absolutely no reason to remain stuck in this place.  It is way past time to see what is on the other side of fear!

And if you have similar feelings of being stuck and unable to progress or move forward.  Maybe it is time to take a good look at what is holding YOU back.  I’d be willing to place a bet that it is the box of fear that you have been hiding in.

I know it’s not easy to break free from.  Believe me I have been trying for nearly 40 years.  Do not let this be your story.  There is ALWAYS hope!

P.S.  If you have not yet heard of it, check out the book Limitless by Jim Kwik.  I haven’t finished it yet but it has made me realize that  my brain is not broken.  Just untrained, underused and misunderstood.  A work in progress, but truly limitless!

 

Coming back…

“…in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.

My beloved brothers and sisters, I plead with you to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation.” President Russell M. Nelson remarked in 2018 General Conference.

This particular passage came into my mind with such force this morning.  I don’t know why. I’ve learned not to question. But to allow things like this to marinate a little and wash over me.  What is the reason? What is the purpose for this? Maybe a reminder to not take my experiences for granted. Because there was a time when I did just that.  Took it all for granted.  

We are all a constant work in progress.  Trying to live each day in the best way we know how.  Despite the many setbacks, trials, sicknesses, and other life events that we encounter, we push forward to find a way…. Our way.  

My way is certainly not the best way, but it’s my way, my journey. And your way, is your journey.  And no matter the circumstances we face in our lives, part of living is learning to enjoy and even flourish amidst all that we face in these confusing and sometimes dark days.  

Pain is part of it. Joy is part of it.  Tears and heartache are part of it. Success and conquering are all part of this journey!

This blog is my story, my life, my journey.  I can’t change anything for you in your personal life.  Only YOU can do that. But as I have mentioned in many of the posts I have written.  You don’t have to do it alone. You are NEVER, EVER alone!

Sometimes it may feel like it.  Sometimes it may feel like Heaven’s doors are shut and locked to many of us.  We want to know and to hear and understand, but sometimes (and I’m just speaking from my own experiences here), it is not the Lord that walks away from us.  We distance ourselves from Him. Not in a completely intentional way but in an “I’m not sure this is what I want in my life right now,” sort of way. I just want to find out for myself.”  And I am here to suggest that this is EXACTLY what you need to do. Find out for yourself!  

No one can get you to feel or grow and progress spiritually except for you. And it takes work.  You can’t just expect to have all the answers laid out in a neat little package for you. But questioning is part of that work. And though it may feel as though Heaven is closed, believe me when I say, those windows and doors are wide open, waiting to pour out blessings upon you.

We do have to ask, seek, knock in order for those answers to come. And it is hard.  He never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it! 

Several years ago (It’s been almost 8 years to be exact), I found myself in a position of questioning and struggling with things of a spiritual nature.  I would ask myself (and sometimes others) the impossible questions. Why faith? Why is everything predicated upon faith? If there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people?  Why are there starving people in the world? Why is there so much sickness and despair and natural disasters? If there is a God, why can’t I feel Him, why does He talk to others but not me?  And where is my “beyond a doubt” moment? And so many other relevant questions that many of you are asking yourselves right now.

I certainly do not have all the answers.  I am a work in progress, just like everyone else.  I only see it the way that it happened for me. As it is for all of us.

When I left the Church that I was raised in, I walked away from a culture.  I walked away from a “building”. I walked away from what I knew at the time.  I slowly moved away from my Savior, (even though I didn’t believe that at the time).

But when I came back, I came back because my Savior found me. He found ME. Though I was lost, HE went out looking for me.  He left the other sheep to find the ONE. I don’t know how or why it happened for me the way that it did. I don’t know why that passage came to me with such force this morning.  I’m still not sure. Maybe the good shepherd is out there looking for YOU.  Perhaps I am just the messenger.

I know you are struggling right now to find answers.  Your road will not be easy.

My road was NOT an easy road.  And to have it to do over again… I’m sure I would have pleaded to find another way.  A way that wasn’t as painful and full of struggles as it was. But in that same breath, I have learned and grown in ways I never could have imagined.  Ways that I never would have if my road had been different.  

He heals me every day that I allow him to.  He carries me when the days are long and hard.  He finds me when I get lost for a moment. He LOVES me without condition.  He is my strength when I feel weak. He is my hope when I feel despair. He brings me so much joy and peace.  He found ME but in HIM I find my peace, strength, love, hope, and healing. He is my Savior and redeemer.  

This is my story, it is my journey, my life.  And through it all He WAS there. Even when I thought He wasn’t.  He WAS THERE! For ME. The ONE!

And he will be there for YOU too!

XO 

Wendy

Matthew 12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

13 And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

Be grateful for today.

Be thankful for how far you’ve come and what you’ve learned along the way.  We only have one life!  

Don’t waste it away worrying about what you haven’t yet been able to do.  Make today great and full of gratitude and everything else will take care of itself.

Live in thanksgiving daily.

…live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you. (Alma 34:38)

Thanksgiving

First of all, I want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving day.  I thought it would be appropriate to speak of gratitude on Thanksgiving day!  What other time of the year do we take one whole day to celebrate all that is good in our lives, all of our many blessings?

If you have read much of my blog, then you already know how important journals are to me.  And my favorite of all the journals that I write in, is my gratitude journal.  It doesn’t have to be a big expensive journal with a fancy cover.  It can just be a notebook that you can keep inside your purse if need be.

The important part is that you write in it.  Not just periodically, but daily.  It’s similar to being consistent that we talked about here.

“Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence.”                        Bonnie D. Parkin

A few weeks ago we talked about joy and I believe that one of the ways that we can find true joy is through living in thanksgiving daily as stated above.

Today you will gather with family and friends to celebrate your love and relationships and all that you have to be grateful for.  You will eat a lot of good food, watch football, play games, sleep and love on each other, build on current relationships and maybe start new ones.

I hope that you will take a few minutes at some point during your day to write down all of the many blessings you have in your life.

While everyone’s Thanksgiving might not be perfect, it can be filled with love and happiness.  That really depends on you.  Sure you could give away your control when one of your siblings or parents says or does something inappropriate.  But how much better will your memories be if you can just be filled with gratitude.

I’m not sure who, but someone shared this with me one day, and because I live far away from my family it really stuck with me.

Think about the people in your life, not those you live with daily, but those that you may only see a couple of times per year.  Now think about how many times you will get to see and be with them in their lifetime.  Usually that’s only a couple of times per year for most people.  If it’s a parent, and say they have roughly 10 years more of living, that’s only about 20 more times in YOUR life that you will get to spend with them!

So today, try to make the most of the time you get to spend with all of the important people in your life.  Because you just never know when that might be your last time.

And if you live far away from family, CALL them or FaceTime them.  It would mean so much to them.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

XO Wendy

 

 

 

 

Come in the Door is Open!

This past Easter weekend I have been thinking a lot about our Savior and what it means to be His disciple.  While contemplating on that thought I was reminded of the picture of Christ knocking at the door with no handle where we talk of it being us that need to open the door for Him to come into our lives.  Which is definitely true.  We read in Revelation Chapter 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

However, recently I have begun to look at in another light.  Instead of picturing him at the door knocking for us to let Him in.  I picture Him on the other side of the door and when seeing us come to knock, swinging the door wide open with a giant smile on His face saying “Come in the door is open”!

The Lord does not discriminate.  He sees us as we are and as we can be!   So I don’t believe He would hesitate at all if He were to see us taking the steps to come unto him.  He would enfold us in a big hug as if to say “I’ve missed you, where have you been all this time?”

It warms my heart to think that we have a loving Savior who is as concerned and committed to us as a loving parent would be. He sees what we are going through.  He sees us laugh and cry, win and lose, find joy and have pain.  He is all knowing and despite our giant mistakes and problems He loves us all the more.

Seeing our Savior in this way has allowed me to be more open and willing to share the Gospel here on my blog as well as with those I come into contact with.  For were it not for me being born into belief in the gospel, I fear I might not be a believer.  And I feel for all of those who have never heard of Christ the Lord and have no idea that there is a power beyond their own that they can tap into and rely on each and every day.

So what can we do?  How can we help or find those who have never heard of, or who have strayed from the path towards Christ?  I believe there are several ways that we can do that.  But, might I suggest just one? That we just love them.

When I was a young mom I had a child that would test me to my limits.  I could tell you story after story of how he would get into trouble and press my buttons.  But just to give you a couple of examples, he once buttered, with a tub of butter and a spoon, his younger sister while sitting on the sofa waiting to go have pictures done while I finished getting dressed, lol.  Imagine my surprise and displeasure as I came out to find, not only my 18 month old daughter covered head to toe in butter, but the carpet, T.V. and everything in between.  How long was I away?  Couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes.

On another occasion, he thought it would be fun to dump Hershey chocolate syrup all over our brand new carpet!  By this time, I was on a first name basis with the carpet cleaners.  I knew not to even attempt to clean it, just call the cleaners, haha.  Oh he was a Dennis the Menace in every way.  I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I would find myself at my wits end as he got into fiasco after fiasco testing my every last nerve.  And he did it so quickly and slyly right under my nose.  I couldn’t leave him alone for a second!

I remember one night I was praying and pleading with the Lord to help me with this child.  Help me to know what to do and how to handle him.  I begged to know what I was doing wrong.  Why did he test me like this?  As the tears flowed and I poured my heart out.  These gentle words came into my mind still and quiet, “Just love him, just love him”.  For that is how the Savior handles us.  He just loves us!  No matter what.

As I was thinking about this, the words of Ulysses Soares a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, came to mind from our recent conference. “When we earnestly, heartily, firmly, and sincerely seek to learn the gospel of Jesus Christ and teach it to one another, these teachings may transform hearts. …It is hard to understand all the reasons why some people take another path. The best we can do in these circumstances is just to love and embrace them, pray for their well-being, and seek for the Lord’s help to know what to do and say. Sincerely rejoice with them in their successes; be their friends and look for the good in them. We should never give up on them but preserve our relationships. Never reject or misjudge them. Just love them!” 

Just love them!  I am so amazed by the love that our Savior has for me and for all of us.  The least we can do for Him is to treat others with respect.  Honor them for who they are.  Be examples of love and light like the Savior would have us do.  And above all, just love them!

I pray that I can help others to come unto Christ.  That I can be open and ready and willing when opportunities arise.  That I will be able to take the words of Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, into my heart as he said   “...Pray daily with all your heart that you will find those who will come and see, come and help, and come and stay. “

And when that opportunity comes hopefully I will be able to say “Come in the door is open!”,  with a great big giant smile!

p.s. I know I promised my next post to be another about mental illness … but when thoughts come I have to get them out :).  And that one is proving to take a little longer and be harder than I thought it would be.  It will come soon…XO Wendy