Joy – Page 3 – Pointing Toward Hope

Refresh and reframe your mindset

Quote Pointing Toward Hope pod graphic_2

At the beginning of the year 2020 we had such a positive outlook on the year ahead! After all it was the year of “perfect vision”. Now we are 8 months in, and as I’m sure you will all agree, it has been…. well… a year of some unmet expectations. Ok maybe a lot of unmet expectations! But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the rest of year. And neither should you. Let’s finish out this year STRONG!

So that all sounds great right? But it’s not so easy to do. Especially in our ever changing world filled with uncertainty and fear for what the third quarter of 2020 might bring. I mean I have started and stopped my goal of recreating my relationship with food (hello Covid-19), every time I read something else in the media that produces anxiety. Maybe it’s time to step away from social media for a while (that’s why I’ve been missing in action for a hot minute, lol).

I’m not suggesting giving it up completely (thats just crazy talk), I mean we have to stay informed. Just choose wisely what you choose to fill your brain with.

Here are a five ways other than going easy on social media, that I have found to deal with the anxiety and hopelessness of the future. And to reframe thinking in a positive and productive way.

Brain Dump Sometimes feelings and emotions can really become too much to bear. A practice that I have found helpful is to get out a journal (you know how I love journals!) and just “dump” all of your thoughts, feelings, emotions and scenarios that you are creating in your mind on to a blank page. You don’t even have to keep it if you don’t want to. I find that just releasing all of that emotion from your head and your heart is truly cathartic. It can be a form of therapy to just let your heart and soul out in words. Words that you’ve been tossing around and around inside your brain, creating all kinds of awful scenarios. Just get it out so you can let your brain rest.
Breathe There are moments when I’m working on something whether it be at work or at home even hanging out at soccer game (yes we just started back up again, yay!), when I notice that I have been holding my breath. It’s really a common practice to tense up when we are deeply engrossed in something. You may even be doing it at this very moment. So stop right now and do it with me. Close your eyes and take a big inhale through your nose (really fill up your lungs). Now let it out slowly through your mouth. Now do that 2 more times as you let your body just relax. Hopefully that will help you feel a little less anxious. Just breathe.
Kill the ants automatic negative thoughts (thank youJim Kwik). Negative thoughts rob us of joy and kill our hope and steal our happiness. We’ve all heard the quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Our thoughts are so powerful! As Jillian Michaels from biggest loser always says, “If you fight for your limiting beliefs you get to keep them. ” Don’t get caught in the trap of telling yourself that you are not (smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, motivated enough, old enough, young enough etc). What you tell yourself you are, is what you will become. Practice self love on a daily basis by being kind to yourself. Don’t let the “ants” keep you from thriving
Drink yo’ water!!!! I know this might seem like a crazy thing to add in this post. And I will harp on this forever (see more here). There are so many benefits to getting your water in daily (at least half of your body weight in ounces). And so many negatives to not drinking water. Being properly hydrated is so important. Here are just a few benefits: Weight loss and good skin elasticity. Muscle efficiency, mood balancer (yes!), temperature control, memory function, and joint lubrication. It flushes out the toxins that build up in our bodies creating good bowel function. It aids digestion and creates better immune health. When we become dehydrated it can cause dizziness, headaches, nausea, weakened muscles and lack of motivation. Do yourself a favor and fill up your cup!
Get out of your space Sometimes we get so caught up doing things in our own little world that we forget how much of a breath of fresh air it is to get out and see others. Being with people who love us and support us and laugh with us, might be the most useful and important activity we can do for us and for them! I can’t wait to be able to hug big again! Granted this has been especially hard during 2020 with Corona. But it is not going to last forever and for the time being, we can still get out and walk our neighborhood and wave at others as they drive by, or talk and laugh 6 feet apart. And sometimes playing games and visiting with your own family in your own home can be such a ray of sunshine.

I hope that these ideas will help you to find some ways to destress and decompress and refresh and reframe your mindset with everything that is going on in our world. If you are struggling, please know that you are NEVER alone!

Isaiah 52:12 For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rearward.

The Lord is always by your side with His angels to assist you. I know this because he has been there for me over and over again. Love to you all, have a wonderful weekend.

XO Wendy

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Stronger than you think.

The past couple of months have been super challenging. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way. It’s ironic because back in February before all the craziness started, I felt better physically, mentally and emotionally than I had in a very long time. Stronger. More equipped to fight off the adversary. More confident, after struggling for so long to regain what I felt being diagnosed Bipolar, had taken away from me. Courage to face the challenges that would come my way. Little did I know what myself and others would be facing over the next several months.

Life has a way of throwing curve balls at you, doesn’t it? I don’t know if there is anything that could have prepared us for what we have all been through over the past several months. And on top of the many circumstances that each of has faced together, many have had to face the normal day to day challenges and inevitable trials that unexpectedly come our way in our so-called “normal” pre-Covid life.

So as I have been struggling, I have been searching for ways to pull myself out of the funk that I have been in. And wouldn’t you know it, God always comes through with something that I need. It didn’t just happen. I have been praying for days to feel better and re-gain that strength and faith and courage that I had just a few short months ago. As I have mentioned many, many times, we can’t just wait for it, we have to look for it and ask for it.

meme_matthew_knock

Today, I just wanted to share a little bit of what I have been thinking and pondering over and what I feel like God has been guiding me towards this past month.

You may have noticed that after my last post, I’ve been pretty scarce with social media. I feel like I have had to shield my spirit away from so much of the negativity that has been going on, just as I would to my children. Maybe I am different than most mothers, but looking back I don’t think that I would have allowed my children to see a lot of what is blasted over social media.

I was pretty careful about what I allowed my kids to see and be a part of when they were little. Though the internet wasn’t as prevalent as it is today, the T. V. was a big influence. So I instituted what we called “No T.V. week” once a month. We used that time to read books, spend time together as a family, to go outside and enjoy nature and to find other sources of entertainment.

We also had many shows that were off limits, that the kids were not allowed to view. I just didn’t appreciate the influence and ideas of disrespect, negativity, and irresponsibility, etc. that some of those shows portrayed. And I think it has only gotten worse as the years have gone on (especially with all the venues that are available today for viewing).

The point that I am getting to is that maybe…. maybe we need to treat ourselves and our spirits exactly how we would our children. We are given stewardship over our children. They are not ours. They are His, just as we are His.

And just as tenderly as we treat and love our children, is how we should treat and love ourselves. We need to give ourselves the grace that God gives us and that we give our children. Even if that means taking the internet away from ourselves for a week ;).

How awful would it be if the first time our child tried to walk, we chastised them when they fell and discouraged from trying again? But we don’t do that.. we encourage them over and over and over again until they can do it on their own. And then we continue to do that with everything that they come across throughout their lives, even as they grow older and have their own children. We never stop loving and encouraging and allowing them to grow and become better than they were before.

We only have this one body…. it is a gift from the Father. Ours to take care of, to have “stewardship” over. And even though our bodies come to us with many different challenges, our spirits that are housed by those bodies are precious and so loved by the Father.

I remember many times, rushing to my child’s side as they fell down. Tenderly lifting them onto a counter, kissing “ouchies” better and gently placing bandaids on the scrapes and bruises. Giving them a hug and holding them as long as they needed until they felt strong enough to get back to what they were doing when they fell. And most often, with that boost of love and care, they were able to try again pretty quickly without even a negative thought.

Maybe I’m not so alone in the fact that I don’t treat myself the way I would my child, my family members, or my friends. I don’t give myself grace when I make mistakes. I have a hard time picking myself up when I fall. Instead of wiping away the tears as I would my child when they fall and scrape their knees, and encouraging them to get back up. I tend to chastise and beat myself up for falling in the first place. That is not what the Lord would want for us. There is only one place that negativity, self doubt, fear, and discouragement come from and that is from the adversary!

So as I move forward (and I hope you’ll join me) through this unchartered territory that we are all exposed to at this time, I am going to do my best to remember that this body is given to me to house my beautiful, tender, and loving spirit. I am going to show up for myself just as I do for my children and friends and family. I am going to wrap myself in a big giant hug and tell myself that everything is going to be ok. Because it will be.

I am going to let God cradle me in His grace when I fall. I’m going to get back up and try again when I make mistakes or fail. Because one thing is for sure, we can not move forward when we are always looking back. We can not look ahead when we are always looking back. We can not become better when we are always telling ourselves how bad we are.

Falling is not the problem. Making the choice to get back up when we fall is where the real victory begins!

XO Wendy

An Ordinary Box? Or Something More?

Imagine for a moment, a medium sized moving box, (maybe one that you could put a couple loads of old clothes in). Dingy, old and worn, smelling musty from being stored for a long period of time. Maybe even a little water damage can be seen in the ripples of the beat up box. Dust has begun to collect from the years of being untouched. An ordinary storage box by outward appearances.

Ok. Do you have that mental picture in mind?

Now let’s take this imaginary box to a new level. Though ordinary, there is something different about it. This box can not be seen by the naked eye. Beat down, worn out, and barely noticed anymore. But….YOU CAN see it clearly now. And It is time to open this box and discover what is inside. For some reason, you are a little afraid of what you might find, but you decide to open it anyway.

To your astonishment, as you open the box, familiar things begin to suddenly appear in your minds eye. There are loads and loads of memories inside. Good ones, bad ones, happy and sad, success and failure, adventure, and despair. But wait. Some of these memories you recognize, and some you have never felt or seen before. How can that be? It is YOUR box, right?

Then you realize deep in your soul that these are ALL of your memories! A Lifetime’s worth! All of your emotions, your hopes and dreams, your adventures, your experiences! Even those you haven’t had or seen before. All of them trapped deep inside this box never to be found. And then it hits you!

It comes to you with great force, like a huge punch in the gut. You feel sick to your stomach as you realize that this box was created FOR YOU! Not only that, it was built BY YOU!

You suddenly realize that there is one emotion that is not trapped or missing. It is the very same one that kept you from opening it to start with. The very one that you are feeling right now. It’s Fear! Fear of what might have been inside. Fear of what might have happened if you opened it. Fear of the unknown. Plain and simple, the emotion is Fear. And you realize that you have been filled with fear for a very long time.

Ok, snap out of it. Back to real life? How do you feel?

No worries. The great thing about imagination is that it is just that, imagination! And that means that you can change the way this story ends!

And you know what? It is time! It is past time for you to take control of your fear. Kick it to curb. Release all of those past experiences and failures that have made you afraid to experience your life. Afraid to try new things, to take risks, to become more than you are and learn something new.

Because no one wants to look back at their life as they take their last and final breath and see that there was so much more that could have been. If only they would have opened the box!

Break free! Your life is waiting for you!

XO, Wendy

What prompted this post: I realized that since I was diagnosed with Bipolar 5 years ago, I have been so afraid of what might happen. It took several years to get meds right and get my physical, mental, and spiritual balance back.

But since then I have been somewhat paralyzed by the worry that it will happen again (meaning I would end up in the psychiatric ward again). So what if it does? It wouldn’t be the end of the world. I mean, I do NOT want that to happen for sure! However I have survived. I’ve been surviving it most of my life (with the help of my Savior and redeemer carrying me every step of the way).

But the difference now, is that I am so much stronger. Because I know. I know what I am dealing with. I know what triggers me. I know what precautions I need to take. There is absolutely no reason to remain stuck in this place. It is way past time to see what is on the other side of fear!

And if you have similar feelings of being stuck and unable to progress or move forward. Maybe it is time to take a good look at what is holding YOU back. I’d be willing to place a bet that it is the box of fear that you have been hiding in.

I know it’s not easy to break free from. Believe me I have been trying for nearly 40 years. Do not let this be your story. There is ALWAYS hope!

P.S. If you have not yet heard of it, check out the book Limitless by Jim Kwik. I haven’t finished it yet but it has made me realize that my brain is not broken. Just untrained, underused and misunderstood. A work in progress, but truly limitless!

A New Normal

We are living in a world that is going to have a “new normal”. As the events of the past few months have unfolded before us, we’ve felt many emotions. Fear, Shock, disappointment, loss, suffering, helplessness, hopelessness, and many more.

For some that are single or live alone, loneliness and isolation have been a big part of the past month. As well as those who have had to isolate because of infection by the virus. Or people who have been otherwise hospitalized, who have had to do so without the support of loved ones by their side.

Whether for a sickness, or lingering illness, or the joyous event of delivering a baby. Which has been bittersweet, both joyful and heartbreaking to not be able to share that experience in person with friends and family

At the same time, as we have practiced social distancing and followed the “stay safe, stay at home” orders that have been implemented in many states, we’ve felt a closeness to our families that may have been lost. We’ve been comforted by the fact that we are experiencing the same feelings as people all over the world. We’ve felt joy, compassion, love, tenderness, empathy for those working on the front lines and those who are ill. We’ve mourned for those who have lost their jobs and livelihood and those that have had to give up dreams that they’ve worked their whole life for.

Many of us have developed a great love for our leaders. Whether they be government, church, educators, scientists, healthcare workers, or even company owners who have come forward to help in the face of tragedy.

We’ve felt a renewed love for our Lord and Savior and his atonement and suffering for all of us. We have realized that we can not carry this burden alone. That nobody should carry these burdens alone. And so we have become united in purpose to eliminate and eradicate this awful virus that has infected not only our bodies, but our lives.

It has been incredible to witness the heroics of so many in our communities as we have faced the pandemic and world calamities (earthquakes and tornados, etc.). Our hearts fill with gratitude as we see a world come together through something that can’t be seen but only felt.

As someone who already suffers from mental illness and the effects of isolation that it can bring, I feel a deep compassion for those who have never experienced those feelings who now will find themselves in deep depressions. Whether from loss, unemployment, isolation, financial struggles or family dysfunction which may have become front and center. Or those who will suffer PTSD from witnessing the most horrible experiences one can imagine.

But I will forever be an optimist. I know that we CAN come together as a nation and as a world to fight this horrible disease. We can make our world whole again by the kindness and love and the attitude with which we choose to move forward.

Will it be easy? Absolutely not. We have all experienced something that will forever be implanted in our very souls. Something horrendous. But out of the ashes rises the Phoenix! We can rise as a nation/world. We can rebuild our world and each other instead of tearing each other down.

We can spread love and kindness and come together in a way that no one anticipated a few short months ago. We can find that “new normal” together. We can build a new world from the love and common ground that we’ve found through the most tragic of events.

We have been told that it may be much longer than anyone thought that we will be in this situation. Both fighting for our lives and fighting to stay healthy. But through this time there are still ways that we can reach out. There are still ways that we can stay healthy and maintain a good attitude. And with the Lord’s help we will conquer this pandemic while simultaneously building stronger families, friendships and communities.

Revelation Chapter 21

3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new…

A new normal? Yes. But possibly a better way of life? Most definitely!

All my love,

XO Wendy

BPD, a blessing or a curse?

Prosper you and give you hope

Bipolar disorder (BPD), is a big part of my life, whether I like it or not. However I have to give it credit for being a catalyst for so much good and positive change in my life. That’s right! When it all boils down, I am grateful for the disorder for helping me to grow toward becoming a more positive, healthy, empathetic, and gratuitous person.

I still have a journey ahead of me, of course, but I am happy with how far I have come. When I look back at the road less traveled (or maybe I should say less acknowledged), I can see the many times that BPD has been a blessing in my life.

The annual report of the state of mental health in America, came out today and while I was pleased to see that substance use disorder has dropped some, it is clear that we have a lot more work to do in bringing awareness to mental illness and suicide prevention. I hope that my posts have had some effect in bringing that awareness to others.

Here are just a few of the reasons that I have found, to see my illness as a blessing. It is worth mentioning there is always the flip side of the coin but in this post I want to stick to the positives.

GET Stuff Done! While I had severe bouts with depression when my kids were little (I had four children within 7 years!), I credit being able to get A LOT of stuff done to the manic side of BPD. I remember being called the “energizer bunny” because I could accomplish so many projects in a day. It probably wasn’t the healthiest way to get things done. But when my kids were little and required so much time and attention I was able to give them what they needed. And as they got older and all had different schedules and activities, I was able to get them all where they needed to be when they needed to be there, keep a house of order, cook and clean and stay organized. I often look back and wonder how I did it all! Now I know.
More Empathetic. Not that I wasn’t always a caring person, it’s been in my nature to care for others since I was little. I had a mother that was a great example of this. However, being diagnosed with a mental illness, especially one as serious as the one that I have, has helped me to recognize the loneliness that people with mental illnesses experience. We all feel like no one understands and that no one knows what we are going through. We withdraw and retreat into ourselves because of that. But I want you to know that you are NEVER EVER alone. I see you! And so do a lot of others out there who have struggled with similar disorders. And Jesus Christ KNOWS exactly what you have and will experience, because he descended below it all for you and for me! Jesus will always have your back.
I Know in Whom I trust. Speaking of Jesus Christ, I would never have come to know my Savior in the way that I now do if it hadn’t been for what I have gone through on my road to better health. One of my favorite scriptures came to me in a time when I was most in need. Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Whenever I was down or was having a particularly hard day (which there have plenty of), I looked to that scripture and remembered that my Lord is always aware of me and knows my needs and wants the best outcome for me.
Live in Gratitude Daily. That probably sounds strange to some people, especially to those who suffer with debilitating illnesses. But I have learned that keeping a daily gratitude journal is one of the best practices that one can do for physical, spiritual and mental well being. Sometimes I may have to dig deep to find the tender mercies of a day. But when I do, I am always filled with a profound sense of gratitude for the life that I have been blessed with, illness and all.
Appreciate the Really Good Days. I’ll be the first one to admit that there are some really, really hard days when dealing with these types of illnesses. There are days when you feel like you can’t go on, that it is all too hard and you can’t survive another day. Even though I am on medication and am in a better spot than I have ever been in, I still have bad days. However, it makes me appreciate, really truly appreciate. Every. Single. Day. That I am alive. That I am here and that I can share and help others who may have similar experiences. My good days are something to be celebrated. And celebrate I do, with every day I live I am grateful for having been blessed with BPD. It has made my life fuller and richer in so many ways.

Have a wonderful day and week!

XO Wendy

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